If you鈥檙e looking for one stroller to rule them all, let me spare you the wild goose chase. There鈥檚 no such thing鈥攁t least, not for adventurous families.

When I became a parent two years ago, I swore our garage would not be full of specialty kid gear that would only see occasional or specific use, i.e. a jogging stroller for running and gravel use; a compact stroller for everyday errands and travel; and a wagon for kid and gear schlepping. Lo and behold, we now have every one of these kid conveyors in our garage.

While each is in steady rotation, there鈥檚 one that has seen a surprising amount of use: our Veer All-Terrain wagon.

Veer All-Terrain Wagon Specifications

Open dimensions: 37鈥� L x 20鈥� W x 23鈥� H
Folded dimensions: 37鈥� L x 20鈥� W x 14鈥� H
Capacity: 55 lbs per seat (2 seats)
Weight: 32.6 lbs (with wheels); 24.6 lbs (wheels removed)

Pros and Cons

鈯� Pushes and handles like a stroller
鈯� Rugged, durable design
鈯� Burly wheels can navigate off-road terrain
鈯� Sleek design for compact storage
鈯� Expensive
鈯� Most helpful accessories not included in base price
鈯� Doesn鈥檛 fit as much gear as some other wagons

I first learned about this wagon through my local mom group鈥檚 Facebook page. One mom鈥檚 post about it racked up at least 50 comments from other women. Most posted glowing reviews, a few criticized it for being overpriced, but the majority were moms who were eager to get their hands on one but were striking out finding used options on second-hand marketplaces.

I hadn鈥檛 seen this level of discourse in this mom group since someone posted about turning their leftover breast milk into jewelry, so I decided to try the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser for myself to see what all the fuss was about.

We originally got this wagon to take on a beach vacation, where we knew we鈥檇 need something to haul our one-year-old and all of our gear from our condo to the beach each day. There are lots of affordable kid wagons out there; most are fine for toting kiddos and gear short distances on smooth surfaces, but many of them are a pain to pull when fully loaded down, and uncomfortable for the little ones riding in them.

Our son was barely 30 inches tall at the time, too little to comfortably sit up in a hold-all wagon without getting tossed around. We wanted a wagon that would pull double-duty as a stroller and gear hauler on vacation, and that鈥檚 exactly what the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser is: a wagon that you can push and steer like a stroller, and securely seats two kids.

What I Love About the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser

Smooth Steering and Handling

The Veer鈥攕tuffed to the gills with beach towels, toys, soft cooler, sun shade, diaper bag, and our son鈥攈andled the 0.2-mile trek (a mix of pavement, gravel, and sand) right onto the beach with aplomb. The wagon can鈥檛 navigate loose sand with just the stock polyurethane foam tires鈥攜ou鈥檒l need to purchase Veer鈥檚 beach wheel kit ($250) for that. But the stock tires did fine on packed sand when not fully loaded down, allowing us to take our son, who wasn鈥檛 yet walking, along for beach strolls.

In the months since that beach vacation, the Veer also became our go-to for walks around our neighborhood and trips to our local pool and parks because our son preferred it over our regular stroller. He liked being able to see more of his environment and sit more upright on the wagon鈥檚 built-in bench, made cozier with Veer鈥檚 comfort seat for toddlers ($89). This seat also includes a five-point-harness, which added extra support for our little guy, who needed more than just the three-point-buckle that鈥檚 included to comfortably stay upright on rugged terrain.

On those outings, the All-Terrain Cruiser handled cracked pavement, wonky curbs, gravel, grass, dirt, and even snow with ease. Like all wagons, it doesn’t have the tightest turning radius and smoothly navigating around corners takes some practice. My husband and I both decided we prefer pushing the wagon like a stroller versus pulling it like a traditional wagon. Ergonomically, the height-adjustable handle is designed primarily for pushing the wagon; the extra wide handlebar, while nice for hanging bags off of to accommodate more gear, makes pulling the Veer like a wagon awkward.

That said, having the ability to choose how you steer the Veer is clutch. We inevitably found ourselves pushing it along as a wagon for stretches of our walks because the retractable canopy ($59) doesn鈥檛 provide enough coverage to block out low-angle sun. In early morning or late afternoon, the sun鈥檚 low angle dictated whether we pushed or pulled the Veer to keep glaring rays out of our son鈥檚 eyes.

Sleek Design for Easy Storage

The smart design of this wagon is what sets it apart from similar wagons on the market. For how rugged and bombproof it is, it鈥檚 sleek and incredibly streamlined, making it super simple to fold up into a relatively small package and stash on a shelf in the garage, in the trunk or roof box of a car, or even in a gate-check bag for flying.

Simply unlock the handlebar with the push of a button and fold down the four sides of the wagon like a box to collapse the wagon onto itself; you can also pop off the wheels by clicking the buttons in the center of each wheel to get the wagon to lay completely flat. The whole process takes 30 seconds, and unfolding it is just as quick and easy. Even without being fully collapsed and with the wheels still on, the wagon easily fits into the back of our Chevy Equinox. And at 33 pounds with the wheels on, it鈥檚 not back-breaking to lift it.

You do need to remove the optional accessories鈥攍ike the sun canopy and toddler comfort seat鈥攖o get the wagon to pack all the way down; this adds a few steps and a little extra time to the pack-down process, which is why we got lazy and usually just loaded the wagon into our trunk not fully collapsed.

Downsides to the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser

Limited Gear-Hauling Capacity

The Veer All-Terrain may bill itself as a wagon, but it鈥檚 really a stroller. By design, it鈥檚 better at conveying kids than hauling a pile of gear. Its two built-in benches (that don鈥檛 collapse) and short sidewalls mean this wagon can鈥檛 hold the amount of gear that other, more basic wagons can (like the affordable ones you see at Target and Walmart).

When our little guy was in the wagon, we could fit a couple of towels, a large beach bag, and a bucket of beach toys in the wagon with him. With two kids in there, there鈥檚 not a lot of room for anything else. With one kiddo seated on a bench and an infant car seat attached over the second bench (a compatibility feature that鈥檚 a huge plus of this wagon), there鈥檚 room for even less extra stuff (and what you do shove under the car seat is hard to access).

Veer鈥檚 foldable storage basket ($79) helps to increase the wagon鈥檚 gear-hauling capacity and easily attaches to the back of the wagon, but in my opinion doesn鈥檛 offer enough extra storage to justify the additional purchase.

Expensive, Best Accessories Aren鈥檛 Included听

This brings me to the biggest downside of the Veer wagon: It comes with a hefty price tag, and that doesn鈥檛 even include some of the most helpful accessories (like the comfort seat insert, the storage basket, or the canopy). Heck, Veer even sells a sun visor ($19) for the canopy separately.

The stock wagon only comes with two cupholders that attach to the handlebar, and a snack tray with two cup holders that can click anywhere onto the sidewalls so kids can snack on the go. These accessories are nice, but they鈥檙e not as essential and don鈥檛 add as much as some of the other optional accessories (like a sun canopy).

Is the Veer All-Terrain Wagon Worth the Price?

So, is this wagon worth the price? The answer depends entirely on what you鈥檙e looking for from a wagon, and how much extra cash you have lying around. If you鈥檙e in need of a wagon that can haul a lot鈥攌ids and gear鈥攍ook elsewhere. Similar stroller-wagons like the Wonderfold W2 Elite ($479) have more capacity.

But what has impressed me about the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser is its smooth handling over all sorts of terrain, and its smart and rugged design that makes it so easy to fold, unfold, and travel with. We now have two kids (a baby and a toddler), so anytime we go anywhere we have to cart around a stroller that can carry two. Because the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser is much more compact and packable than our Thule Urban Glide 3 double stroller, this wagon accompanies us on more road trips and outings that require us to hop in the car first. So for our family, this wagon is totally worth it.

At $699, it鈥檚 expensive and double the price of similar hybrid stroller-wagons like the . But like a Yeti cooler, the Veer is over-engineered to be extremely rugged and durable, making it a piece of gear that will stand up to kid abuse, travel, and years of family adventures. There鈥檚 a reason they鈥檙e so hard to come by on second-hand marketplaces.

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I. Two Sides of a Single-Edged Blade

Franklin Park, Illinois, December 25, 2021

The sword was suspended in the basement rafters with a message from 1945 still secured to its fittings. My grandfather and I were sitting one floor above it at his kitchen table when an email arrived. It was 9:17 A.M. on Christmas Day in 2021, the Chicago weather too mild, the ground too much of a defeated brown, and the gathering too small to suggest that anything festive was about to happen. A notification lit up my phone with the subject line 鈥淢erry Christmas and a letter from Umeki-san.鈥�

The timing was convenient. I was visiting for the holidays, staying at my mother鈥檚 childhood home in Franklin Park, ten miles west of Chicago. My parents were there, too. My grandfather, Joseph Kasser, who goes by Ben or Benny, built the home in 1957 for a family of four that eventually dwindled to one. My mom, Kathy, was the first to go, leaving for college in 1971; my grandma Alice died in 2008; my uncle Bob died in 2010. They left Benny alone on Louis Street with a lifetime of modest possessions. Among them was a Japanese sword he鈥檇 found on an Okinawa beach in the final days of World War II.

It was six months after I first asked Benny if he鈥檇 be interested in finding the sword鈥檚 owner. I don鈥檛 remember what I said to start the conversation. I do remember that I was nervous asking a man who doesn鈥檛 own much to part ways with a keepsake he鈥檇 found during perhaps the most consequential time of his life as an antiaircraft gunner in the U.S. Army. He didn鈥檛 hesitate. He said, 鈥淪ure.鈥�

It was one of those inspired 鈥渟ure鈥漵 that really mean 鈥渁bsolutely,鈥� a posture-correcting 鈥渟ure,鈥� an energy-intoned 鈥渟ure,鈥� not 鈥淚 suppose鈥� or 鈥渋f you want.鈥� A momentous syllable that set something off. It was apparently something he had considered.

Now, on Christmas Day, I didn鈥檛 know if the email that had arrived contained good news about our quest. I read it silently while sitting at the kitchen table, where I had heard one side of the story for more than three decades.

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When I heard the news that a for reckless conduct after someone spotted her ten-year-old son walking alone less than a mile from home, the first thing I did was open Google Maps. I looked up the distance between my house and a nearby middle school that my six-year-old daughter sometimes walks to with a friend her age. They get a thrill from playing at its playground听without a grown-up听around, and I relish the freedom of getting the house to myself for half an hour.

Still, I’m relieved every time I hear my daughter鈥檚 voice approaching our driveway after one of her mini-adventures鈥攚hich, according to my Google Maps search, spans less than half a mile round trip. My relief stems less from my concern that something might actually happen to her, and more from the possibility听that a neighbor or passerby might judge me to be negligent for letting her walk to a playground on her own.

Even before the story about the Georgia mom blew up the internet, I鈥檇 heard similar reports: the Texas mom handcuffed and jailed overnight for making her eight-year-old home; the Maryland siblings by police for playing alone at a playground.

Each time one of these stories makes headlines, the American public loses its collective shit. People from all sides of the political spectrum are equally outraged, agreeing (for once) that helicopter-parenting culture has gone too far. The same comments echo across the internet: When I was a kid, my parents didn鈥檛 care where we were, as long as we were home when the streetlights came on! Or: When I was that age, I walked home from school and babysat my younger siblings!听

The parents I know in real life are similarly supportive of giving our children freedom to roam, and horrified that we might get in trouble for it. One friend has printed out and laminated a 鈥溾�� card for her eight-year-old to carry. If a concerned citizen tries to intervene, the child can present the card, which includes her parents鈥� phone number and states that she is not lost or neglected.

My sister-in-law, meanwhile, told me that two of her kids, ages 15 and 8, were recently walking home from the library when a nice older woman pulled her car alongside them, begging them to get in so she could give them a ride home. The woman was so distraught over what she perceived as the kids鈥� risky behavior that she thought asking them to get in a car with a stranger was better than letting them walk unsupervised down a familiar suburban street in broad daylight.

Though such lapses of judgement are well-intentioned, the chances of a child being either kidnapped or hit by a car are in the United States, and certainly lower than they were in the eighties and nineties when I was a kid. Yet in part because media reports tend to amplify violence and tragedy, such incidents can seem more common than they actually are, prompting some people to misjudge the risk of children acting independently.

Anecdotally, many of the people concerned by modern kids walking or playing alone seem to be who themselves had ample freedom growing up but may have watched too much CSI since then. My own peers鈥攅lder Millennials, mostly鈥攈ave absorbed plenty of articles of letting our kids manage risks and build independence, and many of us try to encourage such behaviors.

A 2023 sort of backs this up, finding that only 28 percent of Millennial parents are 鈥渧ery concerned鈥� about their child getting kidnapped. The same study found that Black and Hispanic parents are far more concerned than white or Asian parents about their kids getting shot, which aligns with demographic trends of gun violence and underscores the fact that free-range parenting is a privilege of living somewhere relatively safe.

Personally, I worry more about the societal or legal repercussions of letting my kid roam the neighborhood unsupervised than I do about some stranger snatching her up. But what if my concerns are just as overblown as those of the lady in the car who tried to stop my niece and nephew from walking home? Lenore Skenazy, who coined the term 鈥渇ree-range parenting鈥� and co-founded the childhood independence nonprofit Let Grow, emphasizes that it鈥檚 for parents to face legal action for letting their kids play outside or walk home alone鈥攕o uncommon, in fact, that when it does happen, it becomes national news.

In other words, just as the risk of a child getting abducted is minuscule, so is the chance that someone will call the police if I let my six-year-old explore outside with a friend鈥攅specially now that more states are passing free-range parenting laws.

Parenting is inherently risky. The world is not and never will be fully safe. But instead of being influenced by stories of what could go wrong, maybe the best thing we can do for our kids and ourselves is to focus instead on all the things that are still OK鈥攍ike my daughter, skipping up the driveway with her best friend, her cheeks flushed from cold and excitement, coming home just as the streetlights are turning on and I鈥檓 pulling a hot dinner from the oven.

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Whenever we go on family vacations, my husband is obsessed with activities. For instance, we recently had a day where we went fishing in the morning, went to a museum in the afternoon, and had tickets for a show in the evening. We had one unscheduled hour after lunch, and he insisted that we use it to take the toddler to the pool. He said she needed to be 鈥渁ctive鈥� because she had napped while we were fishing, even though she would have been fine playing quietly in the hotel room. The next day was gray and rainy, but he led us on a hike (I carried the baby and he carried the toddler), and then unilaterally decided to extend it partway through, but didn鈥檛 even mention to me that he was leading us on a longer route than we鈥檇 agreed on. By the time I caught on, both kids were exhausted and we were out of snacks, but there were still two miles left. I鈥檒l admit I was pretty crabby about it.

I鈥檇 been up breastfeeding during the night and watched both kids in the morning while he worked out (I鈥檓 a stay-at-home mom, so this is pretty typical), and honestly I hadn鈥檛 even wanted to go hiking at all, and was just trying to be a good sport. I would much rather have relaxed for the afternoon. I know we鈥檙e spending money on the trip and should make the most of it, but does that have to mean filling every possible minute?

I asked a group of friends about their family travel experiences, and several of them nodded in recognition when I shared your story. One family even has a term for it: 鈥淒ad Camp,鈥� referring to days filled with ambitious dad-planned activities that everyone else complains about. In their case, the term is one of half-endearment, a running joke as they all slog through, say, a desert hike in the scorching heat of the afternoon. Yes, it鈥檚 a gift to bring loved ones on adventures that they would never have considered alone. But it鈥檚 also a gift to consider their needs and energy levels; too much pressure can turn someone off an otherwise-fun activity forever.

I鈥檓 sure your husband means well. I imagine he misses his family while he鈥檚 at work, and he wants to tell people at work about his vacation. He doesn鈥檛 know how exhausting it is to care for a baby and a toddler because he rarely does it himself, and when he does, it鈥檚 a novelty; he can tell himself that the reason it鈥檚 so hard is because 鈥測ou鈥檙e better at it.鈥� I suspect that this dynamic is less about gender鈥攖hat is, that it鈥檚 endemic to dads specifically鈥攁nd far more about parents who aren鈥檛 primarily involved in childcare having FOMO about spending time with their family, not realizing that their kids鈥� stamina is more limited than theirs, and being oblivious about the degree to which their partner is working constantly and may need to rest, not hustle, when they get the chance. If your job is childcare, then traveling with kids . Is it wonderful? Absolutely! But it鈥檚 still the same work that you do at home鈥攋ust harder.

The solution here is pretty straightforward: if he wants to do ambitious things on vacation, he should either bring the kids with him while you have solo time (he鈥檒l learn darn quickly about what happens when you run out of snacks), or spend more time on childcare in general, so that you have the energy to join in. Does he recognize that if you watch the kids the whole time he works, that means that he has more responsibility鈥攏ot less鈥攖o watch them when he鈥檚 not working? Is it possible that his lifestyle hasn鈥檛 changed all that much since becoming a parent, so he hasn鈥檛 yet learned that you can鈥檛 do every single thing you want when there鈥檚 a baby and toddler along? I鈥檓 curious, after your hike, if he realized that he鈥檇 made an error in unilaterally extending the trip. Did he apologize, and promise to learn from the experience? Or does he still think that he did nothing wrong?

Vacations need to work for the whole family, not just him. If you watched the kids for part of the morning while he exercised, he should watch them for the rest of the morning, so you get time for yourself, too. When you鈥檙e breastfeeding, that鈥檚 trickier, but he can still take the toddler with him. Maybe part of his workout could entail taking your older kid to a park and running in circles with her, or doing pushups with her on his back. Another option: a friend taught me recently about Baby Yoga, where you lie on the floor next to a baby and try to match and hold each pose they strike. I鈥檝e rarely been so sore the next day.

You could also request that you each plan alternate days of the trip. Are you exhausted from his activities? No problem. The next day is for lounging in a cabana. This way, you can achieve a modicum of balance.

Suggesting these changes may make him feel hurt, or defensive, but if he has a fundamentally egalitarian attitude toward family life, then he should come to understand the logic behind your requests. If he鈥檚 stuck in the 1950s and believes that childcare is a woman鈥檚 job, then he should still realize that you can鈥檛 magically generate extra energy when it鈥檚 all going toward your kids. In that case, ironically, you may be able to put your foot down more, pulling rank as primary caregiver to have the final say on what the kids (and you) are actually capable of enjoying on any given day.

And if someone reading this feels a flicker of concern about whether they, too, may be spearheading 鈥淒ad Camp,鈥� consider these questions.

1. Does your family want to do the fun and edifying things you plan?

A) Yes.

B) No, they say they don鈥檛 want to.

2. If your family says they don鈥檛 want to do the fun things you planned, what do you do?

A) Explain why they鈥檙e wrong, then make them do it anyway.

B) Listen to their concerns, and adjust accordingly. This doesn鈥檛 always mean canceling your activities, but you might shorten them, and add or subtract other things from the agenda.

If you selected A for both, congrats! You鈥檙e not a perpetrator of forced fun. And if you selected yes, you鈥檒l be happy to know that there鈥檚 a simple solution: listen to the people you love.

Blair Braverman writes our Tough Love column. Last month, she gave advice on how to know when to quit your thru-hike and what to do when you can鈥檛 afford your friend group鈥檚 vacations.

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Kitzsteinhorn, a 10,000-foot Austrian peak that sits in the Alps just south of Salzburg, is not considered a draw for serious mountaineers. But to a group of Ukrainian refugees who climbed it last August, as part of a summer camp hosted by the U.S.-based , Kitzsteinhorn symbolized hope.

Filmmaker and photographer Max Lowe documented his second trip to Healing Base Camp, a weeklong program for families whose lives were upended by the violence of Russia鈥檚 invasion of Ukraine. A mix of talk therapy, art classes, and guided mountaineering expeditions, the camp is about building resilience. 鈥淎ll of these people lost someone far too soon,鈥� says Lowe, who is based in Bozeman, Montana. 鈥淭here鈥檚 beauty in the fact that they鈥檙e showing up here and learning how to move forward.鈥�

Lowe first visited in the summer of 2022 for his documentary , released on Netflix in 2023. The film follows ten-year-old Milana and her grandmother Olga as they immerse themselves in camp activities. Milana, initially scared to climb, gains confidence throughout the week and eventually summits Kitzsteinhorn. Both she and Olga attended again when Lowe did. 鈥淭he difference in Milana from the year before was remarkable,鈥� he says. 鈥淪he pushed through everything and just really seemed like a changed girl.鈥�

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A lot of people got divorced during the COVID-19 years, and a lot of people fell deep into their addictions. Being an overachiever of sorts, I did both.

As the pandemic worked its way through the U.S. in the first six months of 2020, my three adult daughters, one of their boyfriends, my niece, and my son, who was a high school senior, were all living with me and my wife, Lisa, at our home in Camden, Maine. We sewed masks, worked out in the basement, cooked elaborate meals that sometimes took all day, baked better sourdough bread than 95 percent of you, played Scrabble and Boggle, and got into massive arguments during episodes of Jeopardy! As we stayed safely hidden away in mid-coast Maine, it was a never-ending summer-camp-cum-house-party.

Perhaps inspired by this atmosphere, we also drank. Some of us more than others鈥攚ell, me mostly, and way more. I drank fancy drinks in the evening with my kids, and I also drank alone in the afternoons from a bottle hidden in the garage. The pandemic was the perfect excuse for increasing the everyday drinking I was already doing.

Lisa would occasionally suggest that I take a break, especially after catching me downing a slug of gin or smelling like alcohol in the early afternoon. I, however, wasn鈥檛 worried. I didn鈥檛 drink in the morning. I was fine. More important, to my way of thinking, I still had a choice about whether to drink or not.

But as the months went by and my own private party continued unabated, that first gulp of the day occurred ever earlier. By June, I was drinking before noon, and even I knew I had to do something. It wasn鈥檛 uncontrollable, I told myself. I just needed to stop for a while, and I decided to do it with help from an outdoor adventure. Setting an impossible physical task, getting in shape, and then achieving it鈥攖his was how I had operated for decades.

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I鈥檓 in my mid-forties, and for the past 15 years, I鈥檝e lived an extremely steady, boring life. I know I sound like a stereotype, but watching my friends get older and experience health problems makes me want to savor the youth I have left. When I think of living like this for the rest of my life, and then dying, I start to freak out. I want to do things. Both of my kids are teenagers, and when I watch them try new things鈥攆ull of possibilities for how their lives could go鈥擨鈥檓 incredibly happy for them. But I wish I could have that same feeling of possibility for myself.

I鈥檝e been daydreaming about quitting my job and hiking the PCT, or learning how to surf (I haven鈥檛 decided yet), and then coming back and starting a new career. I鈥檝e mentioned some of my aspirations to my wife, and she鈥檚 supportive, but I haven鈥檛 talked to her about the full extent of what I want to do: completely shake up my life and take the time to figure out who I really am now. I love my family, and I don鈥檛 want to worry them or change anything about them. It鈥檚 just me I want to change.

That said, I鈥檝e always been the stable one for my wife and kids to lean on, and I worry that doing something big鈥攍ike leaving to hike the PCT solo鈥攚ould cause a lot of stress for them. My own parents weren鈥檛 around much growing up, and I always promised myself that I鈥檇 never be like them. That said, this feeling is getting stronger and it鈥檚 hard for me to ignore it. How do I handle my midlife crisis without being a jerk to the people I love?

Your kids are teenagers. When they try something completely new, is that a crisis? Not at all. It鈥檚 self-discovery. Who says that kind of exploration has to end when you hit a certain age? You鈥檙e never too old鈥攐r young鈥攖o reimagine who you want to be in the world.

I think it鈥檚 fantastic that you鈥檙e filled with the kind of energy that makes you want to do something big. You鈥檙e seeing possibilities that you never considered before. A mid-life crisis doesn鈥檛 have to be a crisis鈥攊n fact, it doesn鈥檛 have to be negative at all. With the right framing, and as long as you don鈥檛 abandon your responsibilities, it can be an incredible adventure.

Because you do have responsibilities now, ones you didn鈥檛 when you were younger, and you know them better than I do. I鈥檓 guessing they include financially contributing to your household, being a loyal partner to your wife, and caring for your kids. That last role, in particular, is changing fast. Your kids may not need you to brush their teeth or make their lunches anymore鈥攂ut they sure as heck need you to love them, see them for who they are, offer comfort, and guide them on their way.

Your stability as a family member, as a parent and partner, 颈蝉苍鈥檛 dependent on you doing the same thing day after day, year after year, until you die. It鈥檚 about your commitment and your loyalty. It鈥檚 about listening to your kids and wife, and hearing what they need from you, even if it鈥檚 not what you expected. It鈥檚 about never giving up on changing for the better.

None of that is contingent on stifling your own dreams. Keep in mind that being part of a stable, loving family doesn鈥檛 just mean you鈥檙e supporting your wife and kids. It also means they鈥檙e supporting you.

Talk to your wife. Tell her what you鈥檙e thinking. If you made major life decisions and simply informed her, rather than asking her opinion, you would be a jerk. But if you came to her early, explained the situation to her with humility, and asked for her perspective and advice, that would actually make you a responsible partner. You can talk through options together, consider your finances, and explore what makes sense for the whole family. What concerns does she have? What solutions might address them?

Maybe you can take a break from work, rather than quitting outright, and see if some time away helps you feel refreshed. Maybe you can start with a smaller adventure, like taking a surfing class or planning a week-long hike鈥攁nd your family could even come along! Or, if travel鈥檚 rough, is there a way for you to take on something new and exciting without leaving home? Could you study at night to prepare ahead of time for a career shift? Your wife may have ideas that would never have occurred to you on your own. She might not be as surprised as you think.

Or maybe she鈥檚 even been feeling similarly herself, and you鈥檒l be the one who鈥檚 surprised.

All this energy you have right now, this stirring to change things? . It doesn鈥檛 have to be destructive. Think of it as the energy an athlete has before a game, jumping on the sidelines to warm up, or the energy an artist has before putting a brush to canvas. Now is the time for possibilities, and daydreaming, and making sure your family鈥檚 on board. It鈥檚 the time for considering their dreams, too, and seeing how everyone鈥檚 visions mesh. Then, when you step into your new life, you鈥檒l be doing so together. Or if you do try something new on your own, they鈥檒l be right there cheering on the side.

Blair Braverman writes our Tough Love column. She lives near the Nicolet National Forest in Wisconsin, and her longest hiking trip was the 400-mile Oregon Coast Trail. She has not yet had a midlife crisis.听

The post I鈥檓 Having a Midlife Crisis. Will a 2,000-Mile Hike Snap Me Out of It? appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

Some of the best family memories are made when you explore together. With tons of outdoor activities, a chance to live the cowboy lifestyle, plus no shortage of homestyle Texas cooking, the ranches of West Texas are the perfect setting for families to share new and engaging experiences. 国产吃瓜黑料 tapped travel mom to test out an adventure-packed, family-friendly itinerary exploring West Texas. Here鈥檚 how it went.听

Find Your Texas State of Mind

Live Like a Cowboy

Jump straight into West Texas with a stay at a working ranch. You鈥檒l find a variety of guest ranch experiences across the state, but when it comes to an authentic cowboy experience in the heart of West Texas, is hard to beat. The 30,000-acre ranch keeps active kids entertained for days as families immerse themselves in cowboy life.听 Ride horses or hike on the range, then learn how to lasso and get a firsthand look at cattle herding.

鈥淲e had never ridden horses before, and this was the real deal,鈥� says Human. 鈥淚t was so fun to see the kids absolutely giddy over this experience.鈥�

After a day of exploration, gather around the campfire to make s鈥檓ores, tell stories, and reminisce about your favorite parts of the day.

Go Behind the Scenes

If your kids鈥� mental images of the Wild West were shaped by听 Hollywood,听 they鈥檒l be stoked to explore a real-life film set. Step into the enchanting world of western cinema at , the setting for many legendary films. Take an immersive tour to learn about the magic of moviemaking. Then, explore the rest of the property with its endless vistas and variety of engaging activities, including hayrides. 鈥淭he kids never felt like they were missing out on electronics because they were so in the moment for all of it,鈥� says Human.

Eat Like a Texan

No one does family-style dining quite like Texans. Sit down for a hearty meal at the , conveniently located at Indian Cliffs Ranch to help minimize extra听 kid wrangling. The steakhouse serves up generous portions of traditional Texas barbecue, with fresh cuts of meat and all-you-can-eat sides. Younger kids can choose from a selection of small plates portioned for cowpokes. 鈥淎s a parent, I try to make our trips super special for the kids,鈥� says Human. 鈥淏ut authentic experiences like these made it so I didn鈥檛 actually have to try that hard. The memory-making moments come so naturally adventuring as a family in West Texas.鈥�

When your crew鈥檚 ready for a sweet treat on the road, make a pit stop at , between Cibolo Creek Ranch and Indian Cliffs Ranch.

国产吃瓜黑料 Beyond the Range

Ready to explore more of the region? offers plenty of family-friendly outdoor activities set in the stunning desert landscapes of West Texas. Join a ranger-led hike to explore fascinating geological formations and discover ancient petroglyphs that highlight the area鈥檚 rich Native American heritage. The kid-ready trails feature easy terrain and short distances of less than a mile one way.

Families with older kids can up the adrenaline with a guided rock-climbing tour, which can be tailored to your group to include anything from scrambles to world-class bouldering routes. 鈥淢y kids and I are our best selves when we鈥檙e outside,鈥� says Human. 鈥淭his trip to West Texas was exactly what we love about travel.鈥�

听is responsible for promoting Texas as a premier travel destination in domestic and international markets, generating travel to Texas destinations.

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I once suggested to a new beau that we visit the in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for a long walk and a picnic. He admitted later that the idea had been a little off-putting, but once we arrived, he saw the wisdom of my ways. It was late spring and the bulbs were finishing their bloom, droopy tulips dropping petals in our path. The rhododendrons were bursting with life and the marble statues were as glittering and glorious as ever. It was a stately place to walk, filled with history, art, and evidence of early American culture. Ultimately, he was charmed by this unusual outing. These days, we like to visit burial grounds with our four-year-old daughter, who enjoys reading the faded letters on the headstones and hiding behind the centuries-old oaks.

Pop culture tends to depict people who hang out in cemeteries as belonging to one of two groups: they鈥檙e either mourners with fresh grief or teens with thick eyeliner. But the truth is, many American graveyards were designed specifically for public recreation, and it鈥檚 a crying shame that we don鈥檛 use them more often.

There are many different ways one can respectfully engage with these sites, from the community-based (you can glean historical knowledge from these quietly rich data-centers or plan your visit around finding one famous grave) to the naturalist-leaning (bring binoculars to better spy on migrating birds and keep your plant apps open to help identify rare blooms). Don鈥檛 be afraid that your presence will be unwelcome; many cemeteries are building wellness-oriented features into their programming, a surefire indication they want more visitors. And if you鈥檙e really gung-ho about hanging out with the dead, there are plenty of volunteer opportunities through the and the National Cemetery Administration, plus you can always check in with your local historic society to see what鈥檚 happening nearby.

A Brief History of American Garden Cemeteries

The garden cemetery movement began in 1831 with the opening of Mount Auburn, followed by the building of Laurel Hill in Philadelphia and Green-Wood in New York. It was a time of rapid urbanization and social change, and there was a growing awareness of the fact that humans need security, sanitation, and even beauty to thrive. Some believed that increased time in nature could help cure the poor of their vices. Nice, clean, well-kept cemetery gardens could give people a place to relax (back in the 1800s, people used them for courting, hunting, and even carriage racing) as well as a way to dispose of the many dead.

Graveyard Plants and Animals Are Very Much Alive

Like many of the most successful human-made landscapes, graveyards are also hospitable to local wildlife. There are several beloved by birders, including Utah鈥檚 Salt Lake City Cemetery, where you can see nesting owls and migrating flycatchers and warblers, and the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery in San Diego, California, where binocular-toting tourists go to spy rare warblers and sparrows.听Personally, I鈥檝e spent hours stalking around Portland, Maine鈥檚 Evergreen Cemetery waiting to catch a glimpse of the mated pair of river otters that听frolic in the ponds. Red foxes are a common sight at the Laurel Hill Cemetery in Philadelphia鈥攊n 2016, one particularly personable vixen was even deemed the official mascot of the graveyard. River, as she was named, has probably passed by now, but she was able to thrive in the 200-acre green space, probably because cemetery officials chose to prioritize green burial practices and eco-friendly gardening techniques. In 2018, Nature鈥檚 Sanctuary (West Laurel Hill鈥檚 green burial ground) became the first cemetery to be granted SITES Gold Certification, a designation given to sustainable landscapes, and is now being used as a case study for the U.S. Green Building Council.

While West Laurel Hill has made an active effort to protect the planet, others have stumbled into this role. The Polk City Cemetery in Polk City, Iowa, was constructed in the early 19^th century on land that was unsuitable for farming and, as a result, has been discovered to contain untouched pockets of native tallgrass prairie. Volunteers have been working to improve the biodiversity of the Midwest by responsibly managing these spots and cataloging the various plants, including the lovely and rare wild pansies that dot the lawns. In Brooklyn鈥檚 famous Green-Wood cemetery, you can see evidence of the forests that once thickly covered that part of New York, including native oak, hickory, American beech, tulip, and sweetgum trees. Like many modern cemeteries, Green-Wood Cemetery now has a social media presence, where they announce upcoming events programming and highlight interesting findings. Although it might feel funny at first to start following graveyards on Instagram, there鈥檚 nothing quite like it for up-to-date information about on-the-go animals and rare plants. Many cemeteries also have maps and guides available in the office鈥攕ome even provide PDFs for download on their websites.听

Local History Is Alive, Too

All graveyards, thoughtfully designed or haphazardly made, function as data centers. Tombstones can tell us about family ties, community values, and forgotten tragedies. Even casual visitors to a graveyard can take note of the names and dates that crop up time and again. While some kids won鈥檛 find this alone particularly scintillating, there鈥檚 plenty of eye-spy games 听that can help liven up what might otherwise be a boring walk.

Some cemeteries draw crowds for their more famous residents, like the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in California鈥攚here stars like Judy Garland and Marilyn Monroe have been laid to rest鈥攁nd the Trinity Church Cemetery in New York, where you鈥檒l find markers for Alexander Hamilton and John James Audubon. A little further north in the Hudson Valley, you鈥檒l find the Old Dutch Church and the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, both of which were made famous by the writing of Washington Irving. In addition to casting these bucolic plots of land as settings in his spooky stories, Irving also wrote in favor of creating more striking cemeteries and public ground. In both his personal home and his public statements, he promoted a distinctly American style of gardening and landscape design, one that was a bit wilder and looser than the formal gardens were among European aristocracy. (It was at Irving鈥檚 recommendation that Fredrick Law Olmstead eventually was appointed the head designer for New York City鈥檚 Central Park.) In recent decades, Sleepy Hollow has taken a rather kitschy turn, similar to the Halloween fever that surrounds Salem Massachusetts and its famous Old Burying Point Cemetery, but there鈥檚 still a lot of rustic charm to be found on the forested trails and narrow bridges of Tarrytown.

Cemeteries Can Be Secret Hotspots for Urban Trails

Though using graveyards for recreation 颈蝉苍鈥檛 as common as it once was, the concept of multi-use spaces is clearly alive and well. In addition to making graveyards greener for the sake of insects and animals, there鈥檚 also been a push to implement more wellness-oriented features in cemeteries. The Evergreen Cemetery in Los Angeles has that was updated with a fresh, bouncy layer of rubber in 2023. In New Orleans, the organization Save Our Cemeteries hosts an annual race through the Metairie Cemetery to raise money for conservation of the historic grounds and its famous tombs. The Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta has a similar event, plus events for kids (including a day camp that takes place during the summer months). Although it’s not nearly as storied as either of those southern graveyards, whenever I visit my mother in Massachusetts, I like to go jogging at the Mount Hope Cemetery in West Acton. The trails extend out behind the graveyard and wind through serene wetlands, full of blue herons and red-winged blackbirds. Admittedly, I stop fairly often to pull up my birding app and catalog new lifers, but for slow runners like me, breaks are an important part of the routine.

There are some cemeteries that prohibit running, and there are plenty of religious burial grounds that don鈥檛 welcome visitors. While I have attended my fair share of funerals for loved ones and never once noticed or begrudged runners or birders, it鈥檚 important to recognize that not all mourners will feel this way. Sacred places are open for adventure, but like hiking in ruins or camping in preserved land, you鈥檙e duty-bound to pay attention. One of the first things I taught my child about cemeteries was that tombstones aren鈥檛 for climbing. A toddler can topple a headstone, and even if the person below is long-dead, restoration is a costly process. Similarly, I wouldn鈥檛 remove anything from a recent grave, not even a pebble. (In Jewish cemeteries, it鈥檚 customary to leave small rocks as a tribute to the deceased.) Different traditions and locations have their own rules, but fortunately most larger cemeteries also have offices, maps, and sometimes even visitor centers. For those nervous about disturbing the peace, start with the simplest form of outdoor exploration: a quiet walk to observe and consider.

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Welcome to Tough Love. We鈥檙e answering your questions about dating, breakups, and everything in between. Our advice giver is Blair Braverman, dogsled racer and author of and . Have a question of your own? Write to us at toughlove@outsideinc.com.

After my dad died, I heard 鈥淪outhern Cross鈥� by Crosby, Stills, and Nash on the radio, which is about making a big sailing trip after a divorce. And I thought, that鈥檚 what I should do! I feel like in times of grief, it鈥檚 natural to want a big project. And so I bought books about young and inexperienced sailors making solo trips around the world.

I thought I should sail from Portland, Oregon, where I live, to New Zealand, where my dad鈥檚 from. It would be a journey to try to understand someone who鈥檚 not around for me to try to understand anymore.

When I told my friend about my idea, she said, 鈥淚 really support you, but I think you鈥檙e going to die if you do that. Please don鈥檛 die alone on the ocean on a boat.鈥� She may have had a point鈥擨 haven鈥檛 sailed since I took a sailing class in sixth grade, and I didn鈥檛 like it.

Now it鈥檚 been two years. The trip remains an idea and I still have all those books, but I鈥檓 more focused on other parts of my life, like my work and my garden. When I drive over bridges in Portland and see ships on the river, I wish I could be on one of them. Because it鈥檚 easier to think about taking a grand journey than it is to take a sailing class. How do I honor the impulse to do something big even though, when it comes down to it, I don鈥檛 actually want to do it?

It took me a long time to get pregnant, and when I finally did, it didn鈥檛 stick. I told myself: this loss is okay, because I鈥檒l get pregnant right away after this, right? I have to. That鈥檚 how stories work. Things get hard, and they get harder鈥攂ut then there鈥檚 a crack of hope, just when the protagonist needs it most.

But it didn鈥檛 happen. The journey to parenthood felt random and unfair, with brave hopes that didn鈥檛 pan out and sorrows with no resolution. With each setback, I thought: this must be the moment that things turn around.听Now, I thought. Now comes the happy ending.

But it didn鈥檛 come yet.

Wait鈥攖hat means it must be coming now.

Nope.

I tried stuff. Is this a story about wilderness? OK: I鈥檒l go alone to the woods, plunge into a river, come back cleansed and ready to bring life into the world.

Nope.

Is this a story about God? I鈥檒l pray.

Is this a story about art? I鈥檒l throw myself into work. I鈥檒l write another book.

But none of those stories played out. At least, not in the ways that I planned them. And that made me feel more helpless than ever.

Eventually, I did have a happy ending, or at least a happy middle. But there was no clear, straightforward story I could tell myself that explained the difficulties along the way. By the time the good news came, I was so weary of hope that I didn鈥檛 let myself trust it for a long time.

The process showed me how much I鈥檝e leaned on storytelling in my own life, and how much that instinct can backfire. Stories are, after all, threads of meaning in a chaotic world鈥攁nd if finding them gives us comfort and control, losing them does the opposite.

I tell you this because you sound like a storyteller, too. And it sounds like you鈥檙e looking for a story to tell yourself about grief. A story in which you cross the wild sea and come out the other side healed.

There鈥檚 an easy answer here, which is that you should take a sailing class, or buy a ticket for a boat ride, or rent a kayak for the day. It might be fun. You might hate it, which is OK, too. That said, I don鈥檛 think the sailing class will fix you, because I don鈥檛 think you鈥檙e actually looking for a trip across the sea. I think you鈥檙e looking for a story with an ending that finds you far from where you started.

I鈥檓 hesitant, now, to use stories to predict what鈥檚 next in my life, but there鈥檚 incredible power in identifying them in retrospect. And I think that by writing your letter, you鈥檙e already a good chunk of the way there. You鈥檙e figuring out your story, even though you鈥檙e still home in Portland. You鈥檙e moving forward with it every day. So what鈥檚 the story that feels true to you, now? What鈥檚 the story that helps you live with your grief?

I鈥檒l try writing one for you. If it feels wrong, change it. If it feels right, take it. Use it to launch your ship.

After my dad died, I became obsessed with sailing.
I dreamed of sailing to New Zealand, where he was born.
I wanted answers in the sea.
I looked at the water every time I crossed a bridge.
But instead, I found myself planting vegetables.
Seed by seed.
In my mind, I sailed. I caught the wind.
It rained.
The seeds sprouted.
I think, in a way, I鈥檓 already on the journey.
Not to find home, but to make it.
Not to seek answers, but to grow them.

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