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November 20, 1995

What tortures your soul and why do you write?
Question: Marc, what tortures your soul, and why is your life filled with pain? What do you try to express through your writing? Is your writing just for your benefit or the benefit of others as well?

Thanks,
Chris Tromp
ctromp@gospelcom.net

Marc Twight: If you’re still happy, you are obviously not trying hard enough. I refuse to coast along and settle for second best, settle for less–therefore I am rarely satisfied, thus rarely truly happy. Permanent satisfaction means the death of the soul, it means one doesn’t have the will to ask the hard questions anymore, that one accepts his place and
doesn’t have the strength or will to change it. If the point is evolution, remaining static is counterproductive.

I set a goal and I look honestly at who I am and whether or not the goal is realistic for me as a person. If it’s not, then I ask myself, am I willing to change my liabilities into advantages to reach the goal? What am I willing to sacrifice, cut away, or add on in order to go where I want to go? Fearless emotional reckoning causes internal suffering. If you look into yourself clearly,
without casuistry, does everything that stares back at you make you happy? I hope not.

Writing: I write for me. I write to provoke an emotional response. Sometimes I don’t care if what I write is published. Sometimes I do. Honestly, I do not care whether people love it or hate it–as long as it has an effect and causes someone, somewhere, to think and exorcises what I need to get rid of inside myself.