IT WAS AS IF the whirlpools could think鈥攎aterializing out of the muddy brown water at exactly the right moment to attack the expedition鈥檚 most vulnerable member. it was January 2012, and Erik Weihenmayer and Rob Raker were paddling the swirling Usumacinta River between Guatemala and the Mexican state of Chiapas. Howler monkeys roared, and brightly colored birds chittered. Weihenmayer could hear the beauty around him, including a waterfall crashing in the distance, but couldn鈥檛 appreciate it. The river鈥檚 enormous flow created traveling whirlpools, eight to ten feet wide, that would appear out of nowhere, swallow boats, disappear, and then reappear farther downriver. A sighted person like Raker, an adventure filmmaker and longtime friend of Weihenmayer鈥檚, could see them forming, paddle hard to the right or left, and avoid them. But they ate Weihenmayer, who has been completely blind since the age of 14, for dinner.
鈥淚鈥檓 paddling along, and all of a sudden I feel the river boil beneath me,鈥 Weihenmayer, 44, says. 鈥淚 can hear Rob ten feet behind me screaming, 鈥楶addle! Paddle harder!鈥 And I鈥檓 paddling for my life. I鈥檓 completely hyperventilating, in a total panic because I know what鈥檚 coming. The river is going to yank my bow, flip me, and suck me out of the cockpit. The first time, I was lucky enough to grab onto a safety boat. But next time, who knows? When I get sucked into a whirlpool, I鈥檓 not like other people. I can鈥檛 see the light. I don鈥檛 know which way is up.鈥
The Usu was flowing at nearly 100,000 cubic feet per second鈥攕even times bigger than the Colorado River normally runs. On paper it was exactly the kind of high-stakes paddling Weihenmayer was seeking. After four years of training, he wanted to become the first blind person to kayak down the Grand Canyon鈥攁 226-mile stretch that includes a half-dozen or so thumping Class IV rapids.
But the Usu was, in fact, fiercer, meaner, and more treacherous than Weihenmayer and his team of seven paddlers expected. He got sucked into several whirlpools, swam dozens of times, and generally found it more terrifying than anything he鈥檇 ever attempted. Which is saying a lot, if you know anything about Weihenmayer.
He has spent the better part of his life doing things most people鈥攕ighted or not鈥攚ould never consider, like hiking through Pakistan and Tajikistan with his dad before the age of 20. In high school he took up rock climbing, which led to ice climbing, which led, in 1995, to successfully summiting Alaska鈥檚 20,320-foot Denali. In 2001, he stood triumphant on the covers of both and after climbing Mount Everest, peak number five in a successful Seven Summits bid.
For Weihenmayer, a good day might include skydiving, scuba diving, or skiing, while a good few days have included run-hike-rappeling the 457-mile adventure race and mountain-biking the Leadville 100. And lest you think he鈥檚 all adrenaline and no emotion, after every adventure he goes home, kisses his wife, Ellen, and helps care for his children, Emma, 12, and Arjun, 10.
Add to Weihenmayer鈥檚 r茅sum茅 lucrative speaking engagements, a charity that helps former soldiers and others with disabilities challenge themselves through outdoor adventure, and a book, , that has sold more than 600,000 copies. But none of these, according to Weihenmayer, come close to kayaking blind, which he likens to 鈥渟itting in a rocket-shaped vessel with your eyes closed while riding an avalanche.鈥 Even that description may need revising, because he said it before he paddled the Usu.
SIX MONTHS LATER, on the first of May, I meet Weihenmayer for breakfast at a Courtyard Marriott in Charlotte, North Carolina. We鈥檙e in Charlotte because this is where he has come to attempt to move past the trauma he experienced on the Usu. Not far from here is the , a $38 million outdoor-adventure playground that includes ropes courses, ziplines, and, at its heart, the largest man-made circulating river in the world. Six enormous pumps spray 536,000 gallons of water into two carefully designed, cement-bottom channels.
The rapids range in difficulty from relatively easy Class I鈥揑I on the Instruction Channel to bigger, wilder Class II鈥揑V rapids on the Competition Channel. The 400-acre center attracts everyone from school groups to Army platoons to hardcore kayakers, in part because it鈥檚 the perfect place for boaters to progress from beginner to advanced. If you flip and can鈥檛 self-rescue, it鈥檚 likely you will end up in an eddy. Plus, there are 鈥渞iver guards鈥 standing by to throw you a rope.
Before the Usu trip, Weihenmayer鈥檚 whitewater skills were pretty solid; he could reliably right himself if he flipped upside down, even in the middle of a rapid鈥攚hat鈥檚 known as a combat roll. But for months after the Usu, he didn鈥檛 go near his boat. 鈥淭he weird thing about Mexico is that Erik thinks he got beat up when he really didn鈥檛,鈥 says Raker, who has spent the past five years teaching Weihenmayer how to kayak. 鈥淵es, he got sucked into a few whirlpools, but he was never in danger of dying. His fear was getting to him in a way that I hadn鈥檛 seen in the ten years I鈥檝e known him.鈥
The first two days at the Whitewater Center were rough. On the easiest channel, Weihenmayer would lose his balance, flip, immediately try a few panicky rolls, and then pull his skirt and wet-exit鈥攁 beginner move he hadn鈥檛 resorted to in months. Paddling alongside him, Raker could barely contain his dismay. 鈥淚 was like, dude, you can hold your breath for a lot longer than three seconds,鈥 Raker says. 鈥淏ut he was freaked to the point of thinking he鈥檇 never paddle again.鈥
鈥淔or me,鈥 Weihenmayer says, 鈥渆very element of boating, from getting the right ferry angle when entering the river to staying upright when my bow hooks into an eddy, is about controlling my fear and being OK with chaos. In some ways I like this. But when a mistake happens鈥攚hen I miss an eddy or Rob gets too far in front of me and can鈥檛 paddle back鈥攖hings can go downhill very quickly.鈥
On the water, Raker tries to stay within shouting distance of Weihenmayer at all times, rogue wave trains and surprise keeper holes permitting. Bellowing over the crashing water, he shouts 鈥淪mall right!鈥 or 鈥淪mall left!鈥 for 15-degree turns, 鈥淩ight!鈥 or 鈥淟eft!鈥 for 45-degree turns, and 鈥淗ard right!鈥 or 鈥淗ard left!鈥 for 90-degree turns as the two careen toward various obstacles. Most of the time this works. But on those occasions when Raker鈥檚 voice gets lost in the cacophony, the scenario that keeps Weihenmayer up at night becomes terrifyingly real.
鈥淚 dream about crashing into rocks,鈥 Weihenmayer says. 鈥淩ob鈥檚 yelling at me, and I鈥檓 not hearing what he鈥檚 saying. In my dream I鈥檓 totally hyperventilating. When I wake up my hands are sweating.鈥
I see a small example of what causes these dreams when Raker and Weihenmayer take on Entrance Exam, a Class II rapid in the Instruction Channel. Crowds of rafters mill around, oblivious that the guy in the cobalt boat bobbing unsteadily in an eddy is about to attempt to navigate the rapids below entirely by sound.
Standing alongside the channel, I can barely hear Raker over the crashing waves, but I make out, 鈥淭wo hard strokes to the right, line yourself up, and punch it down the middle!鈥 Clearly nervous, Weihenmayer shudders. Then he pushes into the current.
And damn if for a few short seconds he doesn鈥檛 look like a whitewater kayaker. His face seems relaxed, and his shoulders are square to the fall line. He follows Raker鈥檚 direction, stroking hard into the gut of the rapid, but when the waves obscure Raker鈥檚 voice Weihenmayer panics. In a trough between two whitecaps, he stalls, turns broadside, and flips. Ten, fifteen seconds pass as he attempts to right himself, with Raker hovering nearby. After three aborted rolls, he pulls his skirt and swims, his boat and paddle jettisoning off in different directions.
The unpredictable nature of whitewater also upsets Weihenmayer鈥檚 equilibrium, which makes him feel queasy. I only know this because I overhear him discreetly telling Raker about it. Feeling like he could puke at any moment is just one of the challenges Weihenmayer faces in his quest to kayak the Grand Canyon. Though he had initially hoped to attempt it this past spring, the new goal is the fall of 2014. Settling upon a foolproof on-water communication system has proven frustratingly difficult. And there鈥檚 one other big hurdle: Raker鈥檚 health.
In 2010, Raker, an accomplished outdoor athlete, was diagnosed with a rare form of prostate cancer, the treatment for which slows the disease but doesn鈥檛 cure it. The treatment is called androgen-deprivation therapy, a.k.a. chemical castration, and it robs the body of every last molecule of testosterone, causing fatigue, weight gain, and loss of muscle and mental clarity. Like other cancer treatments, ADT can be worse than the disease鈥攁nd, for the time being, Raker has decided it鈥檚 too hideous to continue. He does say, however, that he will start ADT therapy again in November. His hope is that by doing so, he鈥檒l remain strong and healthy long enough to keep doing all the things he loves to do and, eventually, join Weihenmayer on the Grand Canyon.
鈥淚 will definitely die of this,鈥 says Raker, who has been helping Weihenmayer achieve his goal while also running a film production company and spending as much time as possible with his wife of 16 years, Annette Bunge. 鈥淚t might be in two years, it might be in five years. The best-case scenario is that, while I鈥檓 slowing the cancer with this hideous treatment, they find a cure. But it鈥檚 not likely. So with Erik, I just do what I do with him one day at a time.鈥
A FEW YEARS AFTER Weihenmayer climbed Everest, he became friends with Raker at a 2003 Primal Quest adventure race. Raker, who was filming the event, loaned an under-dressed Weihenmayer a spare fleece during one of the stages, and their friendship was born. He and Raker began teaming up on rock and ice climbs, and Raker quickly became Weihenmayer鈥檚 most trusted guide and best friend. When Weihenmayer and his wife ventured to Nepal to adopt their son, it was Raker who accompanied them to help with the process. In 2008, Weihenmayer asked Raker to teach him to kayak.
There was never a moment鈥攂efore blindness or after鈥攖hat Weihenmayer hasn鈥檛 been adventuring. The youngest of four siblings in Weston, Connecticut, he was diagnosed as an infant with retinoschisis (abnormal splitting of the retina鈥檚 neurosensory layers) and throughout his childhood saw only shapes and shadows. But his failing vision was something his dad (and now manager), Ed, refused to let dampen his son鈥檚 adventurous spirit. A diehard Evel Knievel fan, Erik was obsessed with launching off jumps on his bike. But by 11, he could no longer see well enough to hit the ramps he and his brothers built. Ed knew that the clock on Erik鈥檚 freedom was ticking. So instead of quashing the thrill, he painted the ramps fluorescent orange, briefly extending Erik鈥檚 independence.
The years following his complete loss of sight were hard. But right around his 16th birthday, another tragedy hit the Weihenmayers. Erik鈥檚 mom died in a car accident. The family fell into a deep pit. Ed, a former human-resources manager on Wall Street, who is now 72, rescued the kids by taking them on adventures to places like Machu Picchu, West Irian Jaya (now West Papua), and Pakistan. Erik fell in love with mountains and the camaraderie of expeditions, and after graduating from Boston College in 1991, he began his career as a professional adventurer.
According to Raker, Weihenmayer was an A-plus paddling student. He performed a roll a few hours after he first tried one. Over the past few years, they鈥檝e paddled Colorado鈥檚 Gates of Lodore (Class III-plus) on the Green River, followed by Desolation Canyon, a Class III stretch that they navigated in 2011 at 44,000 CFS, a massive flow rate not seen since the eighties.
Along the way, they鈥檝e identified, and tried fixing, the communication problem. On mountains, Weihenmayer typically follows the sounds of bells attached to his lead climbers. On the Gates of Lodore, Raker tried paddling a few feet in front of Weihenmayer鈥檚 boat, periodically blowing a whistle to keep him oriented. But the crashing water and billion-year-old quartzite canyon walls above it obscured and reflected the whistle blasts, so that Weihenmayer couldn鈥檛 tell where they originated. Also, it was hard to simultaneously scout and turn back and whistle, and to keep a good distance between the kayaks. When the boats were too close, they鈥檇 collide, often tipping Weihenmayer. With his bomber roll, Weihenmayer didn鈥檛 mind flipping. But Raker knew that his star student would eventually graduate to rivers with boulders, ledges, logs, and holes. So he tried another method.
The following day, Raker paddled behind Weihenmayer, which allowed him to keep the gap between them smaller. He shouted 鈥淩ight turn!鈥 鈥淟eft turn!鈥 鈥淲ave train!鈥 and 鈥淓ddy!鈥 as the river dictated. By the end of the day, Raker says, Weihenmayer was executing each move 鈥渇lawlessly.鈥 But early on, the pair learned that as the water got bigger, so did the need for more consistent communication.
Enter waterproof simplex radios, which would allow Raker to give Weihenmayer turn-by-turn instructions down the river directly into an earpiece. But the radios failed to work, because only one person can speak at a time (think Nextel push-to-talk). The two-way system had a half-second delay鈥攖oo long for a self-propelled blind guy in a minefield of obstacles鈥攁nd would cut out unexpectedly. 鈥淵ou can imagine what happens when a blind man goes into the biggest part of a river and the radio stops working,鈥 Raker says. Duplex radios (like phones, where two people can talk simultaneously) failed, too, because they weren鈥檛 waterproof and the sound was bad.
Last March, they finally found a better option, a British company called that sells a completely waterproof Bluetooth intercom system, which allows two people to be on the line at the same time. According to another of Weihenmayer鈥檚 river guides, Chris Wiegand, it allows for real-time speech and activation. It also allows Weihenmayer鈥檚 guides to be farther away from him, helping to diminish their risk of ramming him or, worse, following his line so closely that they forget to watch their own.
IT TURNS OUT that the Grand Canyon may be more forgiving鈥攁nd therefore more doable for Weihenmayer鈥攖han most people imagine. Or so says Brad Dimock, a guide for who has been working on and writing about the Colorado River for 40 years. According to Dimock, the Usu and the Grand Canyon have similar hydraulics, but only when the Grand is at flood level鈥攚hich it won鈥檛 be anytime soon, because the entire West is in a yearlong drought. The Colorado, he adds, tends to be tamer than many people think, though tame is, of course, relative.
鈥淥f the 227 miles, only 50 have significant whitewater,鈥 Dimock says. Guides like him call the Grand Canyon 鈥渂ig Class III with a couple of Class IV rapids.鈥 Translation: while the scale of water is huge, unlike smaller rivers riddled with strainers (downed logs that can pin boaters), undercuts, and recirculating holes (which pull boaters under the water and hold them there), unless you completely gork, the Grand Canyon is a hard place to drown.
Kayaker Brad Ludden, who has notched first descents on dozens of rivers around the globe and now runs a nonprofit that takes cancer survivors on outdoor adventures, agrees. 鈥淵ou can swim the entire thing and be fine,鈥 he says. 鈥淭hat said, for a blind person it鈥檚 an incredibly challenging river. There are giant waves that you can鈥檛 avoid. If he can keep control of his head, he鈥檒l be fine. But the second he loses the mental battle, the river is going to become a lot harder.鈥
Dimock believes that, if they had to, Raker and Weihenmayer could do the Grand Canyon without radios. There are only three or four places鈥攊ncluding Hance Rapid, Lava Falls, and Serpentine Rapid鈥攚here it鈥檚 鈥渁bsolutely necessary鈥 for a boater to line up perfectly between obstacles. 鈥淭he water is such that a really good boater could be within shouting distance of him all the way through,鈥 Dimock says.
Raker disagrees: 鈥淣ot even close. This is where people who have no experience guiding the blind think it鈥檚 acceptable to chime in. Erik is totally blind. You have to be on his butt all the time or鈥攜ou鈥檝e seen it鈥攈e completely freaks. The rapids on the Grand Canyon are so big that when you鈥檙e in a kayak, you can鈥檛 even see above a wave. You only know big holes are there because you scouted them. Plus, what if something happens to Erik and he swims? A sighted person can see what鈥檚 around him and swim to safety. Without a radio, Erik has no idea where he is. If he goes floating down the river and I鈥攐r another guide鈥攃an鈥檛 get to him, the consequences could be disastrous.鈥
As conservative and methodical as Weihenmayer is in his preparation, like all professional adventurers who are pushing the boundaries of what鈥檚 humanly possible, he has learned to manage the inevitable risks. On the one hand, Weihenmayer is adamant that he has nothing to prove to anyone but himself. But it鈥檚 more complicated than that. A few months after the Charlotte trip, when I asked Weihenmayer why he wants to paddle the Grand, he told me about the time he asked the president of the , Marc Maurer, for money to climb Mount Everest.
After Weihenmayer pleaded his case, Maurer responded with a question.
鈥淲hen people think of blindness, what do they think?鈥 he said.
鈥淗elen Keller?鈥 Weihenmayer replied.
鈥淵eah,鈥 said Maurer. 鈥淎nd she died in 1968.鈥
Then, after a pause, Maurer asked, 鈥淲hen you climb Everest, are you taking a risk?鈥
鈥渊别蝉.鈥
鈥淚f you go to the top, could you die?鈥
鈥渊别蝉.鈥
鈥淕ood,鈥 he said. 鈥淭hen we鈥檒l sponsor you. Because when people think of blindness, we want them to think of someone standing on top of the world.鈥
Next fall, if all goes according to plan, people will also be able to think of someone who accomplished a feat that is magnitudes more difficult. 鈥淥n Everest, I felt like I was in my element,鈥 Weihenmayer told me. 鈥淏ut on the water, so much craziness can happen in such a short amount of time. You have to be prepared.鈥
Since I last saw Weihenmayer in Charlotte he鈥檇 regained his mojo. He鈥檇 paddled a half-dozen Class III鈥揑V stretches of river, including Peru鈥檚 Yanatile and Upper Apur铆mac (the headwaters of the Amazon) and paid another visit to the Usu. This time, says Wiegand, his roll was solid, and he had 鈥渘o issues with the large whirlpools.鈥 He also did some creek boating, and, amazingly, paddled Mexico鈥檚 Chocolja River, a pushy and technical water-way riddled with tight turns and six-to-eight-foot drops. The radios worked great.
This past spring, Weihenmayer and his team decided he was ready for a trial run down the Grand. Raker joined, though his cancer levels had risen. In April, they took a motor-boat to seven of the Canyon鈥檚 ten biggest rapids. 鈥淣ot only did he exceed his own expectations,鈥 says Wiegand of Weihenmayer, 鈥渂ut he exceeded all of ours as well. Over time, in big water, Erik gets overstimulated and mentally exhausted, and he has a tendency to shut down. But on this trip, he performed combat rolls where he literally got his entire boat launched out of a hole. He also did several consecutive rolls in 15-foot-high wave trains.鈥
When I spoke to Weihenmayer afterward, he told me that one of the rapids they skipped was Lava Falls, among the biggest cataracts in the northern hemisphere and one of the Grand鈥檚 most infamous stretches of whitewater. Before I could ask him why, he added, 鈥淚 need something to look forward to when we return.鈥
Tracy Ross wrote about her attempt to reboot her marriage with a hardcore backpacking trip in March 2011.