I moved West single and starry-eyed. With and mountains to climb, I knew the area was going to attract people that liked the same things as me, and maybe even one who liked me a little bit too. In fact, I was pretty adamant that a mutual passion for the mountains was going to be the make-or-break facet of my future dating life.
Then I met Will and Laura. Will was a typical Pacific Northwest transplant, coming in hot from four years of college in Vermont with aspirations to ski, hike, bike, and kayak his way across the whole region, and then maybe the world. He had turned his purple Chrysler Town & Country minivan into a verified rolling gear shed and loved anything that got him into the mountains. He also loved Laura. She, however, could do without the peaks that called Will鈥檚 name, claiming to hate skiing and only camping if it involved an electronic music festival. To top it off, she revealed that , and that she had no plans to break that streak anytime soon.
I was floored. Here were two people who had been together for years that hadn鈥檛 done something that I considered a pre-req for any kind of longevity in the dating game. Not even a single hike? Nada. I assumed this wild admission must be some sort of relationship denial or communication breakdown, but what I learned was much more revealing.
You see, Laura was totally down with Will鈥檚 mountain obsession. She talked openly (and quite candidly) about Will being more fun to be around when he came back from a hike or a day in the snow鈥攁nd that trading a few hours apart was more than worth it. Will echoed the sentiment. Laura was passionate about her art and pottery. That wasn鈥檛 really Will鈥檚 speed, but you know what was? The lit-up Laura that came back from her studio sessions.
Still in my early 20s, I had really only seen relationships as dusty mirrors. This, though, was the first time I watched partners support each other鈥檚 passions rather than share them. I鈥檓 pretty sure that鈥檚 when the Earth started shaking under my feet. It was uncomfortable, but refreshing, that kind of perspective shift you don鈥檛 really want but might kind of need. Since getting to know Laura and Will, I鈥檝e . While there were many pros and cons lists and plenty of overthinking, I鈥檝e met some great people, untangling a bit of my identity and the activities I love in the process. That last part is a continual journey, but it鈥檚 comforting knowing there鈥檚 plenty of connections to make off the beaten path. Hey, most will even tolerate me going off to do my own thing once in a while (if I ask nicely, of course).
I鈥檓 not saying I know a lot about a lot, but thanks to Laura and Will I find myself holding onto a simple truth: Standing on top of a mountain with your person is amazing, but finding someone who will let you be who you are鈥攈iker, potter, or otherwise? That one鈥檚 hard to top.