How Hilaree O’Neill Bounced Back from the Most Demoralizing Climb of Her Life
One of the best climbers of her generation points her skis down 27,766-foot Makalu
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Early last November, was on a ledge roughly 1,100 feet below the top of Hkakabo Razi, pinned down by one of the harshest winds she鈥檇 ever experienced. Hkakabo Razi, in northern Myanmar, is believed to be the highest mountain in Southeast Asia, and O鈥橬eill was leading a two-month expedition to measure the peak鈥檚 true height. If successful, it would be only the second ascent of the relatively unexplored mountain, and a month into it her six-person team was coming apart.
O鈥橬eill had spent two years planning the expedition, poring over Google Earth and World War II鈥揺ra charts. (Modern maps of the area are nonexistent.) Her team of climbers鈥擭orth Face athlete Emily Harrington, National Geographic writer , filmmaker , photographer , and , the base-camp manager鈥攈ad traveled across Myanmar, then marched more than 100 miles through dense jungle as their food supplies dwindled and gear was abandoned to save weight. Once on the mountain, they climbed for five days over false summits and up dead-end routes before finally, their strength diminishing, they neared the top. Up to this point, the climbing was similar to a lot of other Himalayan peaks鈥攕now packed into ice鈥攂ut the group were unsure what conditions they would encounter on the narrow ridge leading to the summit.听
At high camp, the team discussed the summit push. Everyone agreed that a three-person team would be best. As the conversation turned to who should go, O鈥橬eill realized the men had already decided that she should stay behind.
鈥淗kakabo Razi听nearly broke me,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t was almost my retirement trip.鈥
鈥淭he guys were seriously distressed about the safety of the team,鈥 Jenkins later in one of many expedition blog posts on National Geographic鈥檚 website. 鈥淚t was unsafe and thus unwise for Hilaree and Emily to continue the climb. Emily readily acknowledged that she did not want to go any higher; but Hilaree was deeply, furiously offended鈥 Would ego actually trump safety?鈥
Ozturk caught the confrontation on film in , a documentary about the climb, which premiered last May at Mountainfilm in Telluride.听
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 think I can do this and be strong and fast on it, fast enough to get us there,鈥 O鈥橬eill says in the film.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e taking it personally,鈥 Jenkins says.听
鈥淥f course I am.鈥
As a ski mountaineer, O鈥橬eill had covered similar terrain the year before on Papsura, a 21,165-foot peak in India. She believed that she had the strength and the r茅sum茅鈥35 expeditions over 15 years, ranging from mellow climbs like Kilimanjaro to a difficult ascent of Mount Waddington in British Columbia鈥攖o reach the summit. But most of all, she was shocked that the men had come to a decision without consulting her.听
鈥淚 was totally stunned by that sort of betrayal,鈥 O鈥橬eill recalls now. 鈥淚 was also really pissed off.鈥
Both Jenkins and Ozturk maintain that they were merely starting the discussion about who was best suited for the technical summit push. (Richards could not be reached for comment.) Jenkins pointed out that O鈥橬eill had been nearly hypothermic upon reaching high camp, and Ozturk said that the men had more experience with the fast, technical climbing ahead of them.
鈥淲e were trying to have an open conversation about how we could summit safely,鈥 says Jenkins.听
Over the next several hours, the men tried to talk O鈥橬eill out of climbing the last stretch of the peak. 鈥淚t was like musical tents, everyone cycling through,鈥 Ozturk says. Tempers flared. At one point in Down to Nothing, O鈥橬eill says, 鈥淚鈥檓 going to say one thing, and it鈥檚 not going to be nice. Fuck you, Mark, for the vote of confidence.鈥
Richards eventually got tired of the arguments and said he鈥檇 give O鈥橬eill his spot. But come summit day, she felt that conditions were too harsh and her ability to lead had been compromised. She backed down.听
It wasn鈥檛 mountaineering鈥檚 first disagreement, but it was one of the most widely publicized. Ultimately, the men abandoned their summit attempt, pushed back by wind, cold, and a treacherous approach. Tired and hungry, the whole team descended Hkakabo Razi and trekked back through the jungle for two weeks on a diet of nettle soup and rice. O鈥橬eill returned to her family in Telluride, rail thin and depressed.
鈥淚t nearly broke me,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t was almost my retirement trip.鈥
If this had been O鈥橬eill鈥檚 final expedition, it would have capped an impressive career. The 42-year-old is the first woman to have climbed both Everest and neighboring 27,940-foot Lhotse in 24 hours. (She did it on a sprained ankle.) She skied from the summit of 26,906-foot Cho Oyu, the world鈥檚 sixth-highest mountain, without supplemental oxygen. She climbed Kilimanjaro with a broken leg. She has made first ski descents of big peaks in Mongolia, India, Russia, and Greenland.听
The youngest of three children, O鈥橬eill started skiing at age three in Seattle. In winter, she rode the bus to local ski area Stevens Pass with her brother and sister. In summer, she traveled the Inside Passage on the family鈥檚 boat. She learned to climb between biology courses at Colorado College. After graduating, she left for Chamonix, France, where she planned to spend a winter. She stayed five years, working as a cycling guide and freeskiing on her days off. She became the European Women鈥檚 Extreme Skiing champ in 1996, but it wasn鈥檛 until she took up alpine climbing that she found her niche.听
鈥淥n my own, I think I鈥檇 be a good skier on big mountains, no big deal,鈥 she says. 鈥淏ut when I combine it with climbing, the meeting of sports has definitely played in my favor.鈥

In 1999, O鈥橬eill joined ski mountaineer Mark Newcomb and photographer Chris Figenshau to ski the Bubble Fun Couloir on Wyoming鈥檚 Buck Mountain, a precipitous line that ends at a 200-foot cliff. It was the first female descent, and it launched O鈥橬eill鈥檚 career. 鈥淚 really didn鈥檛 know what I was getting myself into,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t was really steep. It was a bigger deal than I knew at the time.鈥澨
Three weeks later, the North Face put her on a plane to the Indian Himalayas for her first expedition, up 19,688-foot Deo Tibba. She started rolling through trips at a rate of three or four a year. In 2001, she became a paid North Face athlete.
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 even know this lifestyle existed,鈥 she says. 鈥淭he door was wide open for me in the beginning.鈥
O鈥橬eill鈥檚 athleticism and stoicism have won the admiration of other climbers. 鈥淚 have enormous respect for her,鈥 Jenkins says. 鈥淪he鈥檚 the toughest woman I鈥檝e ever met.鈥
鈥淪he鈥檚 got presence, charisma, confidence, and she鈥檚 incredibly strong鈥 says mountaineer Conrad Anker. 鈥淛ust getting to the base of that mountain in Myanmar was an incredible feat.鈥澨
It took O鈥橬eill months to get over the Hkakabo Razi ordeal. The mental and physical aspects were exhausting enough, but she also felt that Jenkins had publicly vilified her in one of his posts. (O鈥橬eill of the climb for the North Face鈥檚 website, leaving out the group dynamics.)
To recover back in Telluride, she skied, hiked, and spent time with her husband, Brian, a realtor and an accomplished skier, and their two sons鈥擰uinn, eight, and Grayden, six. She has considered scaling back her mountaineering trips to be with her family more often. 鈥淚t鈥檚 hard to return from an expedition to that day-to-day humdrum of life, having to pay bills, go grocery shopping, and clean toilets,鈥 she says.
It affects her relationship with her family, too. Brian looks after the boys while she鈥檚 gone, and she sometimes envies their closeness. 鈥淚 feel like an alien when I come home,鈥 she says, 鈥渓ike a stranger in the house stepping into the routine and getting in the way.鈥
Sometimes she imagines finding another sport鈥攅ndurance running, say鈥攖hat she can do during the day and still coach her boys鈥 soccer games in the evening.
But O鈥橬eill isn鈥檛 very good at scaling back. When Quinn was ten months old, she left for a two-month expedition to attempt the first female ski descent of Gasherbrum II in Pakistan. (Conditions forced her to turn around at 24,600 feet.) 鈥淚 look back now and think, Wow, that was probably a little aggressive,鈥 O鈥橬eill says, although she notes that male climbers with kids are rarely questioned about the risks they take.听
When the opportunity arose to join Harrington and her boyfriend, mountaineering guide , in attempting the first ski descent of Makalu, the world鈥檚 fifth-highest peak, O鈥橬eill signed on.听
She also decided to incorporate some family time into the expedition鈥攖his year, Brian and the boys will join her on the ten-day trek to Makalu base camp in August. (Teacher: 鈥淲hat did you do on your summer vacation?鈥 O鈥橬eill boys: 鈥淭rekked to Makalu so Mom could make the first ski descent.鈥)
O鈥橬eill will then climb with Ballinger, Harrington, and pro skiers Jim Morrison and Kit DesLauriers, the first person to ski the Seven Summits. Makalu is one of the Himalayas鈥 most difficult peaks, with steep ice and a technical rock ridge before the summit. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a beautiful mountain,鈥 O鈥橬eill says. 鈥淢y goal is to climb it without oxygen. But it鈥檚 a much harder climb than Cho Oyu, and I鈥檓 ten years older.鈥澨
Whether she鈥檚 successful is secondary to the effort itself. 鈥淚 have this intense fear of every day being the same,鈥 O鈥橬eill says. 鈥淢ountaineering gives me a way to keep my life somewhat uncomfortable.鈥 听听 听
The Making of a First Descent
At 27,766 feet, and with several technical sections, Makalu is one of the most demanding climbs in the Himalayas. Here's how the team plans to do it.

Woman Versus Mountain
Few expeditions have ventured to the world鈥檚 fifth-highest peak, but O鈥橬eill has been working toward this for a long time.听
MAKALU
May 1955: Frenchmen Jean Couzy and Lionel Terray summit via the north col.
May 1977: An American team fails to climb the mountain via the west face.
May 1990: American Kitty Calhoun is the first woman to summit.
May 1997: A five-member Russian team summits via the west face.
January 2006: French mountaineer Jean-Christophe Lafaille disappears while making a solo attempt at the first winter ascent.
February 2009: The first successful winter ascent is completed by Italian Simone Moro and Kazakh Denis Urubko.
翱鈥橬贰滨尝尝
December 1972: Born in Seattle.
March 1996: Wins the European Women鈥檚 Extreme Skiing Champion, Chamonix, France.
January 1999: Makes first female ski descent of Bubble Fun Couloir, on Wyoming鈥檚 Buck Mountain.
May 2002: Completes the first ski descent of all five Holy Peaks in Mongolia鈥檚 Altai range.
October 2005: Skis from the summit of Cho Oyu without supplemental oxygen.
May 2012: Becomes the first woman to climb two 8,000-meter peaks鈥擡verest and Lhotse鈥攊n 24 hours.