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1) How鈥檇 you get your start?
I got a journalism degree from UC-Boulder in 96 and thenmoved to Italy. Before leaving, I called and asked if theyneeded any news from Europe. So I became kind of a stringer for World Cup newsand the European sport-climbing scene. It built from there.
2) Was writing always a passion?
No. I was really into climbing and was going to get somekind of generic degree like sociology or communications in college. My dadsuggested I do journalism. That short conversation pushed me in this direction.
I got into climbing at 15. I started reading as much as Icould about it. Jon Krakauer鈥檚 and David Roberts鈥 were two classics. Read them a few times each. and were influential.
3) In the story , you write about your addictionand withdrawal from drugs while climbing. never detailed performing action sports like mountain-bikingwhile juiced. How did you approach the issue?
Yeah, he just kind of sat down and typed, didn鈥檛 he? I read which turned out not to be true. But even if it wasn鈥檛true, enough of it was true. He really laid it all out there. I was able toappreciate the storytelling and directness of the prose.
Writers seem to fall into two camps when they write aboutaddiction. They鈥檙e either somewhat embracing it and poking fun at it like with his alcoholism or they鈥檙e like Burroughs, where the drugsare coursing through the writing but not necessarily on the surface. I haven鈥檛read that many recovery or addiction narratives, per se. Especially when I wasliving it. I just didn鈥檛 want to hear anymore about it.
There aren鈥檛 that many books about (benzo)addiction. I made sure to get my hands on those. They鈥檙e mostly personalnarratives. may have beenself-published. . .
4) You used benzos to treat your anxiety. Were the drugs aslippery slope?
You can abuse Benzos like any other substance out there. Icertainly had. They kind of have a blunting, dulling effect like alcohol. Ithink it鈥檚 pretty big in poly-drug users. People coming down off this or thatwill take benzos to anesthetize themselves. I abused Valium and have beenprescribed Ativan, Klonopin, and Xanax.
If they鈥檙e prescribed for anxiety like I was taking them,they鈥檙e prescribed in multiple smaller doses throughout the day. So you don鈥檛megadose yourself in any kind of way that gets you high. There was no 鈥極h boy,I can鈥檛 wait to take my next pill.鈥 Like someone who鈥檚 fiending for a vial ofcoke or can鈥檛 wait to shoot up again. There鈥檚 definitely none of that. It wasmore like, 鈥極h shit. I鈥檓 really anxious as hell. This pill鈥檚 worn off. I guessit鈥檚 time to take another one.鈥 It鈥檚 not necessarily that pleasurable.
5) Why are benzos鈥 repercussions not better publicized?
I saw stories online of people who were shocked to findthemselves addicted. There鈥檚 this stigma. The street addict. Destitute and inthe gutter. Some people are equating this medically prescribed addiction withthat and it throws them into this state of shock and confusion.
It hasn鈥檛 been researched much in this country. If you go toEngland or Australia, there are huge advocacy groups and class action lawsuits.It seems more attention has been paid there with pharmacological research. Ithink US doctors will always tell you how bad Valium is. But there doesn鈥檛 seemto be as much awareness about the newer faster-acting drugs given for anxiety.The ones I was on. It鈥檚 hard not to suspect motivations of profit. They sellmillions of these pills. Why put a stop to the party?
6) What got you off drugs?
Once I quit Benzos, I looked at my life. I looked at thingsI didn鈥檛 want or need and were causing me anxiety. Why should I do thisanymore? I recently left my job because I was working 60-90 hours a week. Thatwould cause anyone anxiety. I decided I wasn鈥檛 going to commute. I don鈥檛 liketo fly. Instead of getting on the plane, taking a pill, and practicing mybreathing, I鈥檓 just not going to fly. I don鈥檛 need it. It doesn鈥檛 need me. I鈥檓sick of traffic jams. I鈥檒l stay out of the cities. Exercise is a huge help.
Someone could look at this and say, 鈥楾his guy clearly hasanxiety issues. He needs to adapt to modern life.鈥 Or you could look at it fromthe other angle and say, 鈥楾he way we鈥檙e living is totally screwed up.鈥 Youshould just figure out what and where makes you happy. Live within thoseparameters and you won鈥檛 have to deal with these horrible sensations anymore.
Long walks with your dog are good. It sounds like a clich茅,but walking with my dog for a few hours a day has been some of the best therapyI鈥檝e found.
7) In , you state 鈥極n the rocks the rules wereclear and fair, the goals immediate.鈥 Does climbing鈥檚 requirement of totalfocus help you deal with anxiety?
For sure. My initial anxiety at 13 had to do with living ina gnarly city. When climbing, you鈥檙e away from all that. Your focus iscompletely immediate. It鈥檚 the next move. Where鈥檚 the belay? Which piece do Ineed to get in? How do I execute this? You鈥檙e in this very present-moment focusthat takes the anxiety away.
Matt Samet is a freelance writer/editor in Boulder, Colorado. He was Climbing Magazine's Editor-In-Chief from 2007 to 2010 and has been climbing since 1986.
–Stayton Bonner