For longtime cycling fans, it was startling to see Tyler Hamilton sitting on the Today Show couch on the morning of September 5, talking to Matt Lauer about Lance Armstrong and the hidden history of cheating on the U.S Postal Service cycling team. He was there, of course, to promote his new book, , a confessional co-authored with Daniel Coyle. Just three years ago, it seemed unlikely that such revelations would ever come鈥攁nd especially unlikely that Hamilton would be the messenger.
For much of the past eight years, since Hamilton tested positive in September 2004 for having someone else鈥檚 blood in his system, he has been a ghostlike figure, shunned by his sport, roaming the wilderness of denial. Now here he was on national television, saying shocking things not just about Armstrong but about himself.
Between TV appearances, Hamilton sat down with Bill Gifford to discuss his journey from 鈥渄elinquent鈥 to truth teller. He looked much older but also more comfortable, smiling and making eye contact. And you couldn鈥檛 help but notice his hair: the cropped look of Hamilton鈥檚 youth has given way to a shag that made him seem almost too relaxed. (In fairness, Wednesday was a bad hair day in New York鈥攈umid, oppressive, and frizz inducing.)
The Secret Race is going to be tough for the public to digest: the details it reveals are horrific, even to veteran sports reporters. (At one point in the book, Hamilton transfuses a bag of blood that has somehow gone bad and experiences a severe toxic reaction, urinating bright red blood but continuing to race.) The Secret Race demolishes the idea that, because an athlete passed hundreds of drug tests, he or she must have been clean. Lauer had trouble with that notion, and so will many readers. He also swats down the familiar idea that doping creates a 鈥渓evel playing field.鈥
As Hamilton suggests in his interview, cycling is about to go through a purge the likes of which it has never seen. Though it took Hamilton eight years to confront his own hard truth,聽The Secret Race is just the beginning.
If you鈥檙e a professional bike racer and you鈥檙e doping at a pretty high level, what do you have to tell yourself that makes it OK?
You tell yourself that everybody else is doing it, to some degree. I wasn鈥檛 thinking about the whole peloton. I was thinking about rider X, rider Y, rider Z, who I considered my competition. They鈥檙e doing this and I gotta keep pace鈥攁nd they probably said the same thing about me. I never felt comfortable with it. Never. Never, never, never. I was never 100 percent OK with it, but at that time it was the culture of the sport.
Did you seek it out, or did it find you?
The first time I doped was in the spring of 1997. I started with a little 鈥渞ed egg,鈥 which was testosterone. I鈥檇 done a big block of racing, and I had another block coming up. The team doctor [Pedro Celaya, also charged by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency for drug offenses]聽said, 鈥淚t鈥檚 just for recovery; it鈥檚 testosterone. It will be out of your system in three days. It鈥檚 OK.鈥 I started out very slowly, and the next time I took anything was a few months later. That was my first shot of EPO.聽That鈥檚 how it started.
There鈥檚 a line in聽The Secret Race聽where you tell yourself,聽鈥淚 could see the gap between who I was and who I could be. Who I was supposed to be.鈥澛營s that how you thought about it鈥攖hat, in a way, doping brought you to the level where you belonged?
I don鈥檛 think I thought about it that way. If you look at my career, I kind of got progressively better and better and better. I came closer to the top. And that鈥檚 what came along with it: doping. More doping, and more sophisticated doping. In 2002, blood doping became a part of my routine. I had done it once before, in 2000. I did it in June and July of 2000 and didn鈥檛 do it again until 2002.
Was blood doping better than EPO?
They say it鈥檚 more effective. It鈥檚 your own blood. It鈥檚 not detectable鈥攕till, to this day. The only thing they can test for is the plastic that the blood comes in.
And back then, not even that.
Blood doping meant less stress. In 1999, we took EPO during the Tour de France. We had the guy Philippe, who鈥檚 called Motoman in the book. But then, in 2000, the testers were coming out with an EPO test. We heard it was coming out in time for the Olympics, but there were rumors it was coming out earlier. There was no way we were going to risk taking EPO during the 2000 Tour.
The book also makes it clear that, even with all the doping, you still have to work very hard as a Tour racer.
Oh, yeah. So hard. So hard. With doping, there鈥檚 a big spectrum of what makes you good. I could dope to the gills right now and I would go backward. And if I had to take one thing out, the doping or the training or the diet, it would be the doping. Hands down. No question. You can鈥檛 take out training and diet. Would you rather be 10 pounds heavier or dope? For sure, take out the dope.
You also talk about how, basically, the choice was to do it or go home.
Yeah. It wasn鈥檛 said, but it was made pretty clear. The guys who didn鈥檛 dope went home within a year or two. Like [U.S. Postal teammate] Darren Baker. He was great. A really good rider. And [teammate] Scott Mercier, who also quit.
And Andy Hampsten?
Yeah. He was retiring, but he probably retired a little bit early. There鈥檚 plenty of them.
And then there are some, like Jonathan Vaughters鈥攚ho rode with Postal in 1998 and 1999鈥攚ho you suggest did it reluctantly.
What, like he was a clean doper? No, it鈥檚 black or white. Once you started, there was no halfway. Either you did dope or you didn鈥檛. Some of us took it to extreme levels. I鈥檓 not saying every cyclist went out there and blood doped. But when you鈥檙e a team leader, you have an obligation to the team. They pay you the money to do well and get it done. I remember, after my suspension ended in 2007, I rode for Tinkoff Credit Systems. One day, right in front of the whole team, the subject of doping came up. I remember [team owner Oleg Tinkoff] said, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 care what you guys do, just don鈥檛 get caught.鈥 That was my first experience, coming back after two-and-a-half years of not racing.
What was your reaction?
To me that was bullshit. There were some young kids on that team. They don鈥檛 need to hear that. Here we go again. And since then鈥攊t鈥檚 not like I follow bike racing religiously, but I keep my eye on it鈥攁 couple of those guys, my old teammates, have tested positive. It鈥檚 just sad. It鈥檚 obvious that there鈥檚 still some of that old-school mentality in cycling today, and that needs to be addressed.
As far as Postal goes, who was the driving force behind the doping? Did that come from Johan Bruyneel or Lance or who?
I started doping [on Postal] in 1997. Lance wasn鈥檛 even on the team then. He came in 鈥98. I don鈥檛 know where the doping came from, just that the team doctor came to me. I鈥檓 not saying my decision to start doping was right, and I鈥檝e never tried to justify it. Whenever I was on the podium, it felt weird. I was obviously happy to have done well, but it wasn鈥檛 truly happy from the bottom of my heart.
In the book, you say it鈥檚 like living on two planets at once.
Yeah, a secret life. And then your normal life. It鈥檚 awful, because you鈥檙e constantly having to lie. But you think it鈥檚 for the best. Lying to my parents, brother and sister, and friends.
Because you think it鈥檚 worse to tell them?
Well, where do you draw the line? I was super nervous about it as it was. The fewer people who knew about it, the better. I didn鈥檛 talk about it with my teammates. Most stuff happened behind closed doors. Over time you could kind of figure out who鈥檚 doping and who鈥檚 not. It鈥檚 not something you want to do in front of other people. It鈥檚 kind of gross.
One thing that鈥檚 been coming up from Lance鈥檚 defenders is the idea that, if everybody did it, then it鈥檚 somehow fair. That doping itself resulted in a level playing field.
It鈥檚 not fair. For one thing, it all depends on each individual. It depends on what your natural hematocrit is. If Jonathan Vaughters’ is 48, he can only take a little bit of EPO, because it would be too dangerous for him, with testers, to raise his level any higher. Mine was in the lower forties, so EPO could help me more. It鈥檚 harder to measure how much growth hormone helps you. For me, growth hormone, when I tried it, felt awful. My legs felt sluggish. But some riders loved it, and that was their thing. Anyway, without doping, I think the race results would have been similar but not exactly the same. So no, it鈥檚 not a level playing field.
You talk about 2001, when you were cut out of the U.S. Postal doping loop for that year鈥檚 Tour. And you suddenly go from being in the first group to 94th place.
That鈥檚 when I was working super hard in the middle of the race, and then sitting up鈥擨 wasn鈥檛 saved for the last mountains. In 2001, don鈥檛 forget, Postal brought on replacements for Kevin Livingston and me. They brought in Roberto Heras, Chechu Rubiera, Victor Hugo Pe帽a. People who were proven climbers. Heras was like fourth or fifth in the Tour the year before. It was also clear that I wasn鈥檛 on the same drug program as in prior years. The year before, it had been blood transfusions, and the year before that it was EPO. Then 2001 came around and nobody told me anything. So basically, I hadn鈥檛 done any major doping prep since early June. I wasn鈥檛 officially clean, but it was probably the cleanest Tour I ever did.
What did you do wrong in 2001 to end up out of the loop?
Things just changed, and I鈥檓 not sure exactly why. I decided to leave the team at the end of that season, and things changed drastically after that.
Did Lance feel challenged by you?
I guess. He shouldn鈥檛 have, but sure. I remember, just before the 2001 Tour, we were flying in his jet at 9:30 in the morning. I had gotten a call the night before about some article [in VeloNews]. I had said the wrong thing, something about how a guy like me can be dangerous if we have an early breakaway. After Lance won the previous two Tours, most teams were going to look at us to do the work. But if you put a guy who can ride the GC in a breakaway, it鈥檚 perfect. I can sit on the breakaway, the team can sit on the peloton and save our energy.
Lance somehow took that as a threat. And if I hadn鈥檛 apologized to Johan and Lance, I wouldn鈥檛 have gone to the Tour. It was that bad. It shows, looking back, that they didn鈥檛 trust us. Nobody else could be a threat to them.
Also in 2001, you talk about the Tour de Suisse, where you say Lance told you he tested positive for EPO. You were freaked out. But he sort of laughed it off and said he would have a meeting with the UCI and it would basically go away. Was there a sense that he had some sort of special protection?
There was a sense, yes.
Was there still fear? Did you guys live in fear of a positive test ruining everything?
Oh, I did. Yes. Out-of-competition testers would show up at the wrong moment, during glowtime鈥攚hen drugs were still in your system鈥攐r when your back was turned. You鈥檙e caught with your pants down, more or less. It was constantly on my mind. It鈥檚 not a comfortable way to live.
Lance tested positive for cortisone during the first Tour he won, in 1999. Were you aware of that when it happened? Was there general panic?
Cortisone is legal to take if you have a doctor鈥檚 note [editor鈥檚 note: this is called a therapeutic-use exemption, or TUE], and back then every team played the game. You couldn鈥檛 have nine guys on cortisone, because it looks bad. Typically, it would be five or six. You were given a little booklet that you had to bring in to the doping controls, and on it would be the summary of what you could have.
So you had those as well鈥攖he TUEs?
Yes. And obviously, there was some miscommunication there, the doctor forgot to tell them, but they were luckily able to work it out with the UCI. And although Lance got semicaught there, we were all doing it. But it looked a little fishy.
That was a paperwork problem?
Basically, it鈥檚 as if Lance hadn鈥檛 filed his income taxes on time. Back then there were probably 40 or 50 other riders on cortisone. The only difference was, Lance didn鈥檛 have it in his little booklet. What I鈥檓 saying is, you know, we were all delinquents, more or less.
I expected you to come forward like this sooner, back when you tested positive for the blood transfusion. Did it cross your mind to come clean then and there?
Number one, I actually didn鈥檛 take somebody else鈥檚 blood during that incident, as far as I know. But it doesn鈥檛 matter, because I was blood doping anyway. It was like I was a bank robber, but they accused me of robbing that bank and I didn鈥檛 do it.
It wasn鈥檛 the right time to talk. I wanted to come back to the sport as quickly as possible. Even if I did have to wait two years, I couldn鈥檛 tell the truth, because I knew they鈥檇 never let me back in. If I had told more or less what鈥檚 in the book, at least 60 people would have lost their jobs. If you had asked me two and a half years ago if I would take these secrets to the grave, I was convinced I would. I felt like I was part of this fraternity, and I had to keep it inside the circle. They鈥檙e my old buddies. I鈥檒l take it for the team.
And then, you know, Jeff Novitzky gives me a call, and that鈥檚 the turning point. Standing in front of a federal grand jury, telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.
What do you think ought to be done with Lance鈥檚 tour titles? Do you think anyone else should get them?
No, I don鈥檛 think anyone else should get them, that鈥檚 for sure. Just leave it blank or delete 10 years of cycling, I don鈥檛 know.
During your 60 Minutes interview, you basically said that Lance did 鈥渨hat we all did鈥 and that the doping on U.S. Postal started before he got there. You were almost leaving the door open for him to come out.
I wasn鈥檛 doing that intentionally. I was trying to make a point, because it鈥檚 not about Lance. Lance is just a rider in the peloton. Obviously, he has the biggest name, so he has the big X on his back. I just wanted to make that clear.
You talk about him almost like a brother.
At one point, it was kind of like that. Now it鈥檚 not. But that鈥檚 OK.
With so much evidence out there, is an admission by him a possibility?
I think he鈥檇 feel a lot better. I don鈥檛 think there鈥檚 ever a point of no return. It鈥檚 a difficult spot to be in. But now it鈥檚 clear as day. I feel so much better.
Meanwhile, I understand Lance鈥檚 denial. Once you start lying, you get kind of comfortable. You start believing it. Especially if you truly believe you didn鈥檛 really cheat because you were doing what everybody else was doing. But you don鈥檛 want to see the guy miserable for the rest of his life, and I cannot imagine that now is a very fun time for him. Maybe if he just did a general press conference. No details. Said he broke the rules a few times, shed聽a tear. I鈥檇 want to go give him a hug. He鈥檚 still Lance the champion.
Do you miss bike racing?
Once in a great while I miss the racing, the feeling of winning. That rush. That adrenaline. The rest of the bullshit鈥攏o, I don鈥檛 miss it. My nephew told me he wanted to be a pro bike racer a couple of years ago, and I felt sick to my stomach, knowing what I do. I hope this book will be the start of something. There needs to be some serious work done to the UCI. Some fresh faces. New blood.
What did you make of Lance鈥檚 statement today? He called you greedy and opportunistic. Then he said this does nothing to right any wrong, but he also didn鈥檛 deny anything.
I found that very interesting. When he confronted me in Aspen after my 60 Minutes interview, he didn鈥檛 say I was a liar then, either. He was pissed at me. He asked how much 60 Minutes paid me, which obviously was nothing. But he never said you鈥檙e a lying son of a bitch. That was pretty interesting.
So he was more pissed at you for breaking the code?
Yeah. I would have been pissed, too, if I were on the other side of the fence. But this is my story; I have the right to tell the truth. I feel like the sport of cycling needs to hear the truth. Nobody has ever told it like this. And it鈥檚 ugly.