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Among the Lycra set, shirtless bike riding is seen as a big sin committed only by utter noobs. (Photo: Jared Alden/Cavan)

In Defense of Shirtless Bike Dude

Hardcore cyclists are repulsed when a guy rides naked from the waist up. Why? During a long, sweltering summer, our writer defied the haters, risking all to bring blissful freedom to his sweaty torso.

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(Photo: Jared Alden/Cavan)

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As a lifelong cyclist, I鈥檝e always sort of hated running, on some deep biological level. Oh, sure, I may have entered a handful of 5Ks and 10Ks in my time, and even finished a half marathon (once). But I remain convinced that the reason bicycles were invented is because running sucks.

There is one thing I really envy about runners, though, specifically male runners: they get to run shirtless. When it鈥檚 warm out, they just whip their tops right off and prance along in nothing more than their tiny little flappy shorts. I resent them deeply for it.

Because for some reason, 鈥渟erious鈥 cyclists are not permitted to do this. It doesn鈥檛 matter that we ride around in skintight, crotch-hugging outfits鈥攚hat former pro rider and Education First team boss Jonathan Vaughters calls 鈥渢he functional equivalent of underwear.鈥 On a very hot day, we might unzip that too-small Lycra jersey for a smidge of ventilation. But no matter what, said jersey must remain on, at all times.

Among the Lycra set, shirtless bike riding is seen as a big sin committed only by , along with unworthies like , , and . But if you look around, you realize that Shirtless Bike Dude is everywhere鈥攊ncluding the tracks of the and the streets of Venice, which they wheel down聽. If you showed up for a group ride sans jersey, or took it off halfway through a century ride (again, I鈥檓 talking about men here), 鈥渞eal鈥 cyclists would shun you like a drunk at a Mormon wedding.

Don鈥檛 get me wrong: I, too, once judged shirtless bike riders quite harshly. I kept a folder of聽photos I鈥檇 snapped of the most flagrant offenders. Occasionally I鈥檇 make fun of them on Facebook. But then I tried it myself, peeling off my jersey on a long rail-trail ride a couple years ago on the first really warm day of summer. There were few people around, and it was hot, and I longed for the feel of sun on my skin. I came home a changed man.

Not long ago, CNN tracked down notorious Joseph Mercola as he was leaving the beach near his Florida home. The 67-year-old osteopath was not only , he was shoeless, too. He pedaled away without comment, just another Florida man wobbling off into the sunset. But while Mercola may be wrong about COVID-19 (and much else), he and I are on the same page about shirts and bikes. Riding the latter does not require wearing the former. As the muggy, smoky summer winded down, I became convinced that sometimes you just need to take off the shrink-wrap jersey and enjoy the breeze.


On yet another hot Tuesday in Salt Lake City, a week before Labor Day, I headed out on a noonish bike ride. I鈥檇 meant to start earlier, but nagging work email detained me. I set out on one of my typical lunch loops, a short urban cruise with some punchy climbs. A few blocks from home, I realized that it was already damn hot. And I was sick of being hot.

There was only one thing to do. I pulled over in a church parking lot, took off my fancy Rapha T-shirt, and stuffed it in my saddlebag. Then I set off again, feeling self-conscious.

It鈥檚 difficult to overstate the hatred that cycling cognoscenti have for shirtless bike riders. Earlier in the summer, when I鈥檇 started to become shirtless-curious, I took a quick trip through various cycling-oriented message boards. 鈥淭here鈥檚 something about a guy that rides shirtless that really kinda pisses me off,鈥 wrote one commenter on MTBR.com, a mountain-bike forum. 鈥淯nless you鈥檙e a hot chick, leave it on,鈥 another moron opined. 鈥淓very time I see guys riding shirtless, I feel a strong urge to pick a fight with one of 鈥檈m.鈥

My own goals were more modest: I wanted a workout, plus some vitamin D and a dose of mildly transgressive freedom.

Recently, a 鈥渟omewhat new to cycling鈥 rider, who lives and rides in Houston鈥檚 unbearable heat, innocently posed this question on : 鈥淒o you guys think it鈥檚 socially acceptable to ride shirtless?鈥

鈥淣o one wants to see your naked 57-year-old body,鈥 one commenter predictably shot back. 鈥淲ear a fucking shirt like an adult.鈥

鈥淥nly if your first name is Mario and your last name is Cipollini,鈥 another wiseass replied.

Ouch. That reference was to the Italian sprinter from the 1990s, known as much for his outrageous riding kits (including a bodysuit and a costume, both of which got him fined by Tour de France officials) as he was for winning races. A quick check of revealed that Cipollini, now a retired 54-year-old, does often ride shirtless, displaying his Arnold-esque physique to the world.

Among us mortals, the bearer of the torch is . A legend in Los Angeles cycling circles, Shirtless Keith is a burly man of indeterminate age who rides around hilly Palos Verdes wearing work boots, denim cutoffs, and no shirt. He鈥檚 as strong as an ox, splendidly tan, and able to drop many of L.A.鈥檚 Type A roadies on local climbs, despite pedaling a single-gear bike that weighs twice as much as a fancy road rig.

My own goals were more modest: I wanted a workout, plus some vitamin D and a dose of mildly transgressive freedom. This wasn鈥檛 going to become my lifestyle, nor was I trying to impress anyone on social media.

I sailed down the street and into a busy city park, headed for my favorite bike path. I braced myself for scornful looks, maybe even shrieks and catcalls, possibly even a fight鈥攂ut no one noticed, except for a jerk in a Subaru who shot me a disapproving smirk. He had a reason to be sad: He was stuck driving, while I was riding my bike. Shirtless. I was free. A pleasant breeze riffled through my patchy chest hair, and my love handles jiggled happily, soaking up the sun. It felt freaking awesome.

The most common namby-pamby objection to shirtless bike riding goes like this: What about sunburn? To which I say, have you ever been on a beach and seen ? Those are worse than any sunburn. Plus there鈥檚 this stuff called sunscreen. Problem solved.

Objection two is usually along the lines of: What if you fall? Having crashed many times, I can testify that a cycling jersey isn鈥檛 much help when you fall; it鈥檚 much more important to wear a helmet. Even more important is to not crash. My personal rule is this: if high speeds or sketchy singletrack are likely to be involved, wear the jersey.

There鈥檚 a third objection, which starts with the fact that cycling jerseys play an important role in bike culture. Your jersey tells other riders who you are, for better or . The nicer ones are made of fancy wicking fabrics, and they can cost a lot of money as well, so why not wear them?

Because the ultimate wicking fabric is鈥攚ait for it鈥no fabric. As I cruised along bare chested, my sweat actually cooled me off via evaporation, just as evolution intended. And I felt extremely aerodynamic, even if I didn鈥檛 necessarily look it. My lack of jersey announced to the world who I had become. I had become Shirtless Bike Dude.

As I turned onto a road that leads to a popular local climb, some other road riders actually waved to me. I couldn鈥檛 believe it. Roadies never wave. I sat up, proudly pushed out my skinny chest, and gave them a big wave back.

Now that Labor Day is past, Shirtless Bike Dude鈥檚 days are numbered (well, except in Florida). Soon he鈥檒l go into winter hibernation, getting pasty and battling seasonal affective disorder like the rest of us. If you see him, be sure to wave.

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