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Deflating tires isn't the path to sharing the road. (Photo: simonlong/Getty Images)

Cyclists Won鈥檛 Annoy Drivers Out of Their Cars

A new bike advocacy group is asking cyclists to deflate the tires on SUVs. Eben Weiss believes there鈥檚 a better way to push for safe streets.

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(Photo: simonlong/Getty Images)

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Like cigarettes, shag carpet, and those , the automobile is becoming a product that used to be normal but is now considered irredeemably evil, or at least really tacky. More and more cities are adding , and if the government has its way you by 2035. Meanwhile, a new form of protest seems to be gaining traction: vandalizing people鈥檚 vehicles.

is a group that bills itself as a 鈥渓eaderless autonomous movement.鈥 It started in the UK, hence the 鈥測,鈥 but has since moved to other countries including the United States. Its goal is to 鈥渕ake it impossible to own a huge polluting 4×4 in the world鈥檚 urban areas,鈥 and it does this by deflating people鈥檚 tires and leaving that starts off: 鈥淲e have deflated one or more of your tires. You鈥檒l be angry, but don鈥檛 take it personally. It鈥檚 not you, it鈥檚 your car.鈥

Perhaps it鈥檚 because I鈥檓 old enough to remember stuff like cigarettes and shag carpet (an incendiary combination, it鈥檚 a wonder I never burned to death), but to me the idea of sabotaging a stranger鈥檚 car belongs in the same category as smashing their mailbox with a baseball bat or putting a flaming bag of poop on their porch, even if it is ostensibly predicated on making the world a better place for humanity. As such, I was surprised to find this tactic actually resonates with people. BikePortland (okay, Portland, I shouldn鈥檛 be surprised) recently published a , which ended thusly:

Oh, and one quick tip: if you wake up to find your SUV out of commission, ask someone who relies on active transportation to help you figure out a new route to work. I assure you that anyone who rides the bus or bikes to get around the city has dealt with their share of annoyances preventing them from getting where they need to be on time.

In an era defined by perpetual panic and unprecedented self-importance, I suppose it鈥檚 only natural that there are people who think they鈥檙e saving the world by letting the air out of car tires. Even so, this 鈥渢ip鈥 oozes condescension like a tubeless mountain bike tire with leaky sidewalls.

滨鈥檝别 long come out of the haze of car worship under which many Americans still languish, and as a bicyclist and New Yorker, I of course rely on 鈥渁ctive transportation.鈥 (Finally, a phrase to let everyone know you鈥檙e better than they are because you live someplace you don鈥檛 have to drive!) But I also know that people drive for all sorts of reasons, even in cities. Sure, sometimes those reasons seem almost offensively gratuitous (there are people who get in the car and drive around aimlessly just to make their baby fall asleep, which鈥eally?), but just as often they鈥檙e driving out of necessity, and occasionally access to to an automobile is even a matter of life and death. (Nurses, doctors, emergency responders, people who deliver pizzas鈥) So the idea that you can declare yourself an arbiter of personal mobility and furtively deflate an unvetted individual鈥檚 tire in a petulant act of passive-agression with the certainty that you鈥檙e doing nothing more than making them 鈥渇igure out a new route to work鈥 that day鈥揳s opposed to, say, visiting a dying loved one in the hospital鈥 is astonishing in its arrogance.

Granted, if you鈥檙e a cyclist it may be harder to find compassion for the hapless motorist; they鈥檙e the lumbering dinosaur, we鈥檙e the wily mammals, and until nature downsizes them we鈥檙e forced to dodge their heedless footfalls. However, if you鈥檙e a cyclist, you also love and depend on your machine, and you should have at least a certain degree of respect for someone else鈥檚, even if you don鈥檛 particularly care for it. You should also appreciate that the sorts of idiots who do stuff like are just as convinced of their own righteousness as the Tyre Extinguishers are, and are just as willing to assume anyone who rides a bike is an entitled hobbyist as the 诲茅蹿濒补迟别耻谤蝉 are to assume every single person who drives a car with 鈥渃oarser or larger tires than normal鈥 (whatever that means) is a lazy, selfish cubicle jockey for whom a disabled vehicle is a mere inconvenience.

The current state of motordom is deeply dysfunctional, but even a million Tyre Extinguishers are not going to annoy people out of their cars. It may seem crazy to the 鈥渁ctive transportation鈥 enthusiast, but a lot of these people actually like their cars, flat tires and all. If they鈥檙e willing to pay all that money for gas in order to keep driving, why would needing a little air stop them? You don鈥檛 effect change by messing with things people like; you effect it by offering them something they like better. (That鈥檚 offering, not forcing them into it via sabotage.) Or, if you absolutely can鈥檛 resist fingering a Schrader valve, at least have the courage of your convictions; instead of leaving a note, why not wait for the vehicle owner and explain exactly why you did it?

Surely something as important as the fate of the planet warrants speaking to someone in person, right?

Lead Photo: simonlong/Getty Images

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