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Being vulnerable on a public venue like Facebook can be a feel-good departure from the isolatingly polished norm, but it can also be addictive.
Being vulnerable on a public venue like Facebook can be a feel-good departure from the isolatingly polished norm, but it can also be addictive. (Dimitri Otis/Getty)

Can Radically Honest Facebook Updates Ease Anxiety?

No one's life is Instagram-perfect. Would we be better off sharing the mundane and unattractive parts of ourselves?

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Being vulnerable on a public venue like Facebook can be a feel-good departure from the isolatingly polished norm, but it can also be addictive.
(Photo: Dimitri Otis/Getty)

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You know the drill. You log on to Face颅book to see what鈥檚 happening, and look颅ing at all the awesome things every颅颅body is doing leaves you feeling inadequate, lonely, or, most insulting, like a failure. Considering the number of , we really should know better. The problem, as Benjamin Johnson, an assistant professor at VU University in Amsterdam who studies the psychological effects of social 颅media, told me, is that 鈥渓ooking upward鈥 at happy people too often backfires. 鈥淲e like to look at how others are doing to improve our moods,鈥 he said, 鈥渂ut then we think about ourselves and get depressed.鈥

I was pretty sure this was happening to me, but I had no idea to what degree my relatively normal Facebook usage (a dozen check-ins a week, with half as many low-impact postings) might be altering my mood. Would changing what I chose to share make me happier? I devised a simple experiment: for two weeks, I鈥檇 update my status as often and as honestly as possible and see how it made me feel.

This kind of public candor is much more difficult than it sounds, 颅especially for a social-media self-颅editor like me. Early on, I鈥檒l admit, my posts were pretty timid鈥攃anine celebrity puns, a funny ironic picture of my 颅anti-foodie frozen burrito, an uploaded Runtastic map of a quick-and-dirty mountain-bike ride鈥攂ut people liked them, and I felt good. Great, even; call me schmaltzy, but when an old neighbor who had crashed his motocross bike into the deep end of an empty swimming pool gave me a thumbs-up on a post with a funny picture of Albert Einstein and a self-deprecating remark about my own hair, it took me straight to happy town.

As I let down my guard and revealed a more honest picture of myself, people responded in kind. Friends began to love my posts so much that they e-mailed just to cheer me on.

I eventually worked up the courage to share truly personal information. At the peak of my boldness, I posted a long excerpt from a series of psychiatric exams I鈥檇 taken as a boy. This included some sad, heavy stuff that I still grapple with and normally talk about only with three other people. Examples: 鈥淢ichael seems unable to live up to the expectations he places upon himself,鈥 鈥渉as low self-esteem,鈥 and 鈥渁ppears withdrawn and anxious.鈥

Hitting the post button felt good. I expected silence or a kind word from a few of my touchy-feely friends. 颅Instead I got comments from people who knew me then and barely know me now, ranging from 鈥渇unny and touching鈥 to 鈥渂rilliant鈥 to 鈥渨hat a loser.鈥 (Fortunately, my self-esteem is now high enough to handle a range of feedback.) I was happy because I was proud of myself. I revealed something meaningful and sensitive, critics be damned.

One grumpy afternoon, I confessed that 鈥淔acebook only serves to increase or decrease my self-esteem, based on how I鈥檓 feeling each day. Yet I rarely have the sense to stay away on down days. Is this how alcoholics feel?鈥

My honesty was validated by a veritable popcorn machine of likes and hang-in-theres, including a nice note from my mom, who rarely uses social media. Again, it felt good. As I let down my guard and revealed a more honest picture of my interior self, people generally responded in kind. A few friends began to love my posts so much that they e-mailed and texted just to cheer me on. (Another thought my account had been hacked.) When I announced that I was done with my experiment, an old skiing-, mountain-biking, and green-chile-stew-eating pal sent a message saying he hoped I wouldn鈥檛 revert to my low-key and infrequent updates. 鈥淚鈥檓 going to give you a bit of truthiness,鈥 he wrote. 鈥淚 liked your frenetic posts. You know why? I miss you.鈥

See more of 国产吃瓜黑料‘s happiness-boosting quest:

Strategies for a Healthier, Happier Life
5 Ways to Gain Control Over Your Technology
What Dogs Can Teach Us About Being Content
The Science of Happiness, Illustrated

From 国产吃瓜黑料 Magazine, Mar 2014 Lead Photo: Dimitri Otis/Getty

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