The Presidential Fitness Test Is Back. Here's Our Outdoor-Inspired Version.

Published August 1, 2025 02:32PM

I was on my fourth and final lap around the track during the mile run for my fifth-grade Presidential Fitness Test when it happened. My stomach gurgled, I stopped abruptly, and I bent over and heaved. I’d already embarrassed myself by lasting for all of five seconds of the flexed arm hang (the girls’ alternative to the boys’ pull-up test—don’t get me started). As I stood there, puking into the grass while my classmates zoomed by me, I cursed the biannual ritual of torture.

Launched in 1958, during the Dwight D. Eisenhower presidency, the was a response to a study that suggested that American kids were 53 percent less fit than their European peers. To combat this discrepancy, Eisenhower signed an executive order to launch an advisory committee called the President’s Council on Youth Fitness to motivate Americans to lead healthy lives. The Council unveiled the standard Presidential Fitness Test, which originally included a standing long jump and a softball throw, along with some of the more familiar components: pull-ups, a shuttle run, and a longer run. It continued to evolve well into my childhood until it was officially dropped in 2012 when President Barack Obama replaced it with the more holistic FitnessGram.

But on July 31, 2025, the White House issued a that announced the return of the Presidential Fitness Test. “President Trump is addressing the widespread epidemic of declining health and physical fitness with a time-tested approach celebrating the exceptionalism of America’s sports and fitness traditions,” the release read.

While it’s not yet clear what kinds of events will appear in Trump’s version, I, for one, am still recovering from the trauma of those days in gym class. But what if the test were made up of activities we actually enjoy? I asked my colleagues what might appear in the ��ԹϺ�� Fitness Test.

The Poop in the Backcountry Assessment

With the miles under your belt and a Mountain House freeze-dried meal rumbling in your tummy, your ability to poop in the backcountry solidifies your survival skills. There are many different routes you can take while going on this grand adventure: , , or the . However you’re taking care of business, just make sure you’re adhering to the region’s rules and etiquette by either digging your six-inch-deep hole or packing out your poop.

The Fix a Flat with an Audience Test

No bike ride with friends or family is complete without the requisite unplanned stop to fix a flat tire. And there’s no test of physical skill and emotional strength quite like having to repair a puncture while your friends and family watch. You are guaranteed to drop your tools, dirty your bike clothes, or suffer a minor injury as you fumble with the quick-release axle and brakes. You will have to calm your bubbling anger when onlookers critique your methods and offer vague and unhelpful advice. You are also likely to pinch your spare tube while using a lever to wedge the tire back into the wheel rim. If you are able to complete the repair in under 20 minutes and avoid chucking a water bottle at one of your friends, you have passed the test.

The Post-Race Flight of Stairs Evaluation

You gave it your all, and you’ve got the engraved medal around your neck to prove it—along with the post-race soreness that sneakily stiffens your quads and hammies the next day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, seems simple on the surface: descend a single flight of stairs. But as you tentatively bend your knee, grasping the railing for dear life and wondering if it’s better to just tuck and roll, you just may start to wonder if that free banana was worth it after all.

The Ski Season Readiness Drill

It’s the first day of ski season. Technically, the 12th, but it hasn’t snowed and you’ve been busy. You’ve got two hours to meet friends for some bluebird groomers, but first: the gauntlet. Can you find all your gear? Base layers? Check. They’re still in the camping tub from summer. Your coat? Still has Aperol Spritz stains from closing day, but it’s accounted for. Bibs? Right where you left them, pocket bacon still intact. But now panic sets in: one glove is MIA, your goggles have vanished, and your favorite buff is nowhere to be found. The clock is ticking. Will you make it to the lift on time, or will you be felled by your own gear closet? This is the true test of ski season fitness.

The Golden Marshmallow Benchmark

Everyone knows the perfect s’more can only exist with an evenly roasted marshmallow at its center. This is no easy feat! You need to rotate your ‘mallow consistently enough to toast every side, keeping it close enough to the fire to turn its center to goo—but avoiding making it so gooey that it slides off your stick and into the dirt. And if your marshmallow goes up in flames? Consider that a failed test.

The Alpine Start

On a day of their choosing, and with no advance notice, your P.E. teacher comes to your house and wakes you up at 3 A.M. Once you open your eyes, the timer starts. Throw on seasonally appropriate clothes, gather the ten essentials and add them to your pack, pound a caffeinated beverage of your choice (shotgunning is acceptable) and get out the door to stop the timer. Manage it in less than 15 minutes for a bronze, less than ten for a silver, and less than five for a gold. If your gym teacher shows up and finds a note on your pillow that says “Sorry I missed you! Got up early to go hiking,” you are now legally part of the President’s Council on Sports, Fitness, and Nutrition for the rest of their term, whether they like it or not.

The Rope Coil Challenge

Luckily, there’s no wrong way to coil a rope, except that there totally is. While multiple methods exist, PE instructors across the nation must now test their students in performing a backpack coil of a 60-meter rope, then running one mile with the rope loaded upon their backs. The beauty of the Rope Coil Test—when enhanced with the run component—is that it’s truly a full body exercise. With the potential to engage the muscles used in pull-ups, push-ups, and the sit-and-reach, coiling a rope is truly a vigorous activity demanding the fitness level of a president. After the test, disillusioned students can uncoil the rope and rappel into another country.

The Tree Talking Check

Lots of people have been talking to trees lately; we have , the “Tree Whisperer,” to thank for that. Her videos of her speaking lovingly to her tree, in which its leaves and branches seemingly to her voice in her backyard, have gone viral, and other outdoor lovers have hopped on the bandwagon. To pass this test, you must: 1) Choose a tree, preferably one that looks friendly. 2) Assign the tree a name. If the branches stem wildly from the trunk, you might call her Medusa, for example. 3) Next, come up with five compliments (e.g., I’m grateful that you provide me with shade from the blazing sun.) and speak them aloud to the tree. (If you notice people staring at you and get distracted or embarrassed, you’ll fail and have to start the test over. You’re bonding with nature here, not worrying about what other people think about you!) 4) See if the tree responds to you and write down what you feel as you build a relationship with your tree.*** 5) Take a selfie next to your tree. (***FYI: If the tree doesn’t respond to you, that’s ten points off your overall grade. May the trees be ever in your favor.)

The Hot Yoga Sweat Test

Complete your favorite flow in steamy temps. Here’s the catch: you must Avoid touching any other sticky classmate or slipping on the sweaty floor during class. Bonus points if you can make it home without dripping all over your car and keep your grip on your phone despite your sweaty hands.

The Bear Bag Simulation

The stakes are high for this, which entails tossing your food bag over a branch. Nail it on the first throw and you’ll feel like a gold medal winner. But failing this test is more than embarrassing. Not only could you lose your food (bad for you and the bear), you could injure a campmate with a poorly aimed toss. You don’t need a Cy Young arm to hang a bear bag, but you’ll want to avoid a few common mistakes. Choose an appropriate branch—it just needs to be out of reach of a bear, not out of your range. You don’t want to explain how you got a throwing injury on a backpacking trip. Make sure the rock is tied securely to your line (didn’t know there’d be a knot test, too?) and don’t wait until after dark. Actually, go ahead and wait until after dark. This is a Presidential Fitness test, make it real.

…Or the Bear Bag Avoidance Screening

Everyone loves a group backpacking trip—hiking with your friends, playing trail games, setting up camp, swimming in alpine lakes, cozying up for sleep with your book and headlamp. But everyone hates to be the one who has to hang the bear bag. This challenge is all about finding the perfect excuse at the perfect moment—right after dinner, just as the sun goes down. Hear someone mention putting food away? Boom: time to pee. See people drifting toward their tents? You’re already in yours, zipped up and “asleep.” You do not want to be the poor soul left fiddling with a rope, a rock, and a stinky bag in the dark woods. You want to be cozy, cared for, and dreaming of adventures of tomorrow.

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