One of the greatest things about cycling is that you can spend as much or as little money as you want on it. In fact, once you鈥檝e got the bike, it鈥檚 pretty much free to ride it, unless you鈥檝e got an expensive Gran Fondo addiction or something.
Similarly, when the holidays roll around, you don鈥檛 need to spend a fortune to delight the cyclist in your life with a gift. Forget the $2,000 carbon wheelset. Here are a few gifts you can buy with the tiny balance sitting in that Paypal account you forgot you had.
Socks ($15 to $20)
Ordinarily, when it comes to uninspired gifts, nothing underwhelms like a pair of socks. It鈥檚 the present that says, 鈥淵ou exist, and you have feet.鈥 Cyclists, however, get genuinely excited about socks: they鈥檙e our 鈥,鈥 and sock choice is really the only way we get to express ourselves stylistically (unless you count really bad calf tattoos), especially if we鈥檙e on a team and all have to dress the same.
Of course you can鈥檛 just get your favorite cyclist a pack of regular old tube socks and call it good; this is cycling, so they have to be special socks鈥攁nd by special I mean more expensive. Still, even a of cycling socks only costs about as much as two cups of coffee…well, okay, that special coffee that cyclists drink, but even so you鈥檙e getting off pretty easy here.
Inner Tubes ($5 to $10)
Hey, not all gifts have to be dazzling: sometimes you鈥檙e just looking for a cheap, practical little stocking stuffer. To that end, why not give the gift of butyl? See, when you鈥檙e a cyclist you can never have too many inner tubes, and while it may seem a bit cold and impersonal to give them as gifts, just remember you鈥檙e talking about people who get excited about socks for chrissakes.
Plus, in a way an inner tube is an even more meaningful gift, since when was the last time a sock saved you from being stranded 90 miles from home? (That was a rhetorical question, though please feel free to address your epic 鈥淗ow My Left Sock Saved My Life鈥 pitch to 国产吃瓜黑料鈥檚 features department.)
Just make sure you get the right size and valve type, and that your gift recipient doesn鈥檛 ride tubeless. Or, if they do ride tubeless, you can always buy them a bottle of sealant instead, which is seasonally appropriate as it鈥檚 exactly the same color and consistency of egg nog. (Warning: do not attempt to drink sealant鈥攐r egg nog for that matter.)
A Tool Roll ($35 and Up)
Looking for a more personal gift? Something special, perhaps even handmade? An elegant yet practical item that they鈥檒l carry with them at all times and think of you whenever they use it? Well, if you were shopping for a normal person you might get them a wallet or a handbag. However, this is bikes we鈥檙e talking about, so the nearest equivalent is a .
Sure, a saddlebag will let you carry the basics, but with a tool roll you can practically carry enough stuff to rebuild your entire bicycle, and you can do so stylishly and unobtrusively. Plus, they鈥檙e far classier: tool rolls are to saddle bags as crystal tumblers are to Dixie cups.
The Gift of Smugness ($25 and Up)
This may blow your mind, but lots of people work really hard to make cycling better for the rest of us, and despite what you may have heard they鈥檙e not all underwritten by George Soros. Does your mountain biker support ? Is your bike commuter a member of the ? If not, make a modest donation on their behalf, or buy an item that benefits them. , , , the …there are all sorts of two-wheeled organizations dong all kinds of good work who need your support.
(Note: this is an especially thoughtful gift if the person you鈥檙e shopping for is a roadie, since when left to their own devices, roadies won鈥檛 do anything to help anybody.)
A Skateboard ($100 and Up. This is by far the most expensive gift on the list, but it鈥檚 worth it.)
Hey, we鈥檙e all adults here, so let鈥檚 be honest: sometimes you鈥檝e got ulterior motives over the holidays, and giving a gift is less about pleasing someone than it is about teaching them a much-needed lesson. Is there a middle-aged person in your family who鈥檚 spending too much time on the bike? Was mommy late to the school play because she flatted on the group ride? Did hubs postpone your anniversary celebration because it fell on the same weekend as the Filthy Nebraska 350-Mile Gravel Grinder? Are you sick of suffering through your wife鈥檚 ride reports at dinner?
Well, now you can recoup all the time the bike has stolen from you by giving the gift of a skateboard! Yes, no fit person over 40 can resist the allure of a skateboard, nor can they stand on one without sustaining an injury just bad enough to keep them off the bike for awhile and force them to appreciate you! Just find a reissue deck from the halcyon days of their youth, sit back, and let physics and nostalgia do the rest: 鈥淲hoa, a Rob Roskopp! I used to have one just like this! You know, I used to be pretty good鈥︹ [Stands on skateboard, immediately breaks coccyx.] You鈥檒l be enjoying that romantic anniversary dinner in no time鈥攖hough your partner may be sitting on a doughnut.