Yooooooo, we got a foot of fresh powder around here the other day, and you know what that means! Yeah, shoveling. OK, yeah, I guess it鈥檚 maybe more like eight inches, but the point is, I am out here with my shovel and I am absolutely fucking shredding it. I will post some of my GoPro stuff later, as soon as I have some time to sit down and edit it a little bit.
All I can say is this is it, right now. If you shovel, you know what I鈥檓 talking about. If you don鈥檛 shovel, look, I鈥檓 not trying to be a jerk, but this is not the time to just go out and buy a shovel and 鈥済ive it a try.鈥 It鈥檚 so deep out there right now that you might as well stay home, be safe, and wait for it to consolidate a bit. I鈥檓 pretty sure our new neighbor threw out his back this morning, got in a little over his head.
For some of us, shoveling is in our blood. You might not know it if you see us walking around town any other time of year, but yeah, we are just waiting for snow-removal season to begin. Been shoveling since we were six, eight years old, or even younger. First to buy tickets to the Warren Miller shoveling films every year, just to start priming the psych pump, waxing our shovels weeks before the temperature even drops in the fall, and checking the weather every single day from October 1 onward. OK, yeah, several times a day. You never know. I just want to be ready.
I know a lot of people don鈥檛 even get their stuff out until after some of those early-season snowfalls鈥攎e, I鈥檓 out there, fully kitted out, flipping a vague dusting of flakes off my shovel, even if from 100 feet away it might look like I鈥檓 shoveling air. Sure, it鈥檚 not enough to cause a slipping and falling hazard to even the most visibly intoxicated passerby, and, arguably, it鈥檚 not going to stick and will probably melt by the afternoon, but I鈥檓 out there going for it. Even when the mail carrier is staring at me with a very puzzled look on his face and going, 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 you just use a broom?鈥 He just doesn鈥檛 understand shoveling. As my old neighbor Grace used to say when we鈥檇 be out shoveling across the street from each other, there are two types of people in this world: those who appreciate the adrenaline rush of voluntary residential snow removal and sidewalk maintenance, and those who will never know true joy in their lives because of that snow-shovel-shaped hole in their soul that they may not even know is there.
When there鈥檚 a big dump in my neighborhood, you have to get up early to get the good stuff, because our retired neighbor, Don, puts a big blade on his lawn mower and then goes around the block with it, which is a nice thing to do and all, especially for folks who aren鈥檛 that into shoveling, but man, the first time I slept in a little bit and missed my chance, looking out there to see an already-cleared sidewalk鈥攊t was not a joyous experience. From that day forward, I鈥檝e risen before dawn, just to make sure I get first tracks.
Days like this, when it just keeps coming down, people get tired. Not me. I鈥檓 out there every three hours with a smile on my face, just ripping. Of course, I鈥檝e been doing this long enough, I don鈥檛 rush, I know how to use my legs, focusing on making the perfect turn of the shovel, which we all know is almost for sure unattainable, like true enlightenment. City snowplow comes by and plows in our driveway? I鈥檓 over here like, Fuck yeah, bring it on. More fun for me.
Every year, at least once, I鈥檓 out there just charging, and somebody comes by and says, 鈥淲ow, this looks like so much fun. What鈥檚 the best way to get started?鈥 I tell them what I鈥檒l tell you: Sure, there are YouTube videos on how to do it, and people who sell shovels at the hardware store are always good for some advice, but the only real way to learn is to just get a shovel and get out there and do it. I鈥檒l warn you, though: it might change your life.
Brendan Leonard鈥檚 new book, , is available now.