Let鈥檚 admit it: We all gossip. You and your neighbor break down the details of the couple moving in next door. Your group chat is filled with the latest intel on your ex鈥檚 new partner. You and your co-worker sometimes just need to rant about your boss鈥檚 latest request.

Gossip is our way of staying connected and sharing information with each other. It isn鈥檛 inherently bad, but it does have the potential to turn unhealthy. Spotting the difference between harmless chitchat and malicious rumors can save your mental health鈥攁nd your relationships.

What Is Gossip?

It鈥檚 simple. Gossip occurs when you have a conversation about another person who is not present, says , a licensed professional counselor and professor of psychology at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix. Typically, what鈥檚 shared tends to be of a personal, intimate, or sensationalized nature and may include judgment or criticism of the person being discussed. For example, you may hear that a coworker has a history of stealing ideas and taking credit for them. In this instance, gossip and who might take advantage of you (i.e.on鈥檛 share the presentation with him before sending it to your boss).

鈥淕ossip can be true or speculative, positive or negative, but a key characteristic is that it tends to be based on information that isn鈥檛 widely known,鈥� says , a licensed clinical social worker and the founder and CEO of .

What Do We Get Wrong About Gossip?

Gossip isn鈥檛 always negative. When you鈥檙e sharing messages on Slack with your coworkers or gabbing in person, your discussions may be harmless and often even positive, especially when they include praise or compliments. Gossip turns negative when it鈥檚 used to tarnish someone鈥檚 reputation or is based on unfounded rumors.

The Three Types of Gossip

1. Positive Gossip

If you鈥檝e connected with a new friend or coworker after a gossip session, you鈥檙e not the only one. 鈥淪haring information creates a sense of camaraderie as you bond over topics that are sensitive or captivating,鈥� Felder says. Gossip can be a way to test the waters鈥攁nd gain helpful insights. Discussing a friend who quit her job before having another lined up may prompt your conversation partners to share their own concerns about finances or making rash decisions. You could leave the conversation feeling validated about your own opinion and even more understanding of the perspectives of others.

2. Neutral Gossip

This type of conversation doesn’t have to fall to an extreme. It could just be informational. A published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that gossip was more likely to be neutral than positive or negative.

The researchers noted that neutral gossip tended to be about mundane (and often boring) topics, like how someone watched a lot of movies to stay current. For example, mentioning to your partner that your friend recently got a promotion is merely conveying information without evaluating whether it鈥檚 good or bad news. In this case, you鈥檙e reserving judgment about whether your friend deserved the promotion鈥攐r simply got lucky. You鈥檙e simply updating.

3. Negative Gossip

Traditionally, the word 鈥済ossip鈥� conjures up negativity, and there are certainly times when it can be hurtful and damaging to relationships, Fedrick says. For example, after a frustrating conversation with a friend, you may mention to your mutual acquaintance that this person seemed rude and unstable. Even if this comment was the reflection of your less-than-ideal chat, rather than an objective reflection, your confidant may continue to hold judgment on your friend.

Life isn鈥檛 perfect, and sharing the messy parts is normal. But negativity can reflect poorly on you. To avoid veering into negative gossip, try shifting into a problem-solving approach. By offering a warning, fixing a situation, or exploring how to resolve a conflict, you focus on a specific case example, instead of harming someone鈥檚 personal reputation.

What Can You Do If Negative Gossip Is Making You Uncomfortable?

Even if gossip isn鈥檛 harmful from time to time, that doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e obligated to grin and bear negative comments. Set conversational boundaries as needed.

Keep in mind people gossip for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes they鈥檙e trying to gain acceptance by showing that they鈥檙e part of the in-group, or it could be that they鈥檙e simply bored. Whatever the reason, if they鈥檙e making you uncomfortable, stay true to yourself. You can鈥檛 control other people, but you always decline to participate, Felder adds.

The post You鈥檙e Thinking About Gossip All Wrong appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

Chances are you鈥檝e heard someone talking about a moon circle or seen an promoting a moon circle. Perhaps you’re even responsible for at least one of the of videos tagged #mooncircle. Moon circles are having a moment.

But the practice of gathering to harness the moon鈥檚 vibes has existed across cultures for thousands of years. So why, exactly, are we seeing a resurgence recently?

Why Are We Seeing More Moon Circles?

We don鈥檛 know the exact mysticism the earliest moon circle goers attributed to the lunar phases. But we know from cave paintings that our ancestors. And we know that they sat with one another in a circle around a fire, told stories, and looked into the vastness of the night sky. Although these ancient gatherings are believed to have helped individuals connect with divinity, celebrate femininity, and seek clarity, these effects could have had as much to do with coming together in community as revering the moon.

The value of community is well-documented. Moon circles take that a step further by providing space for the sharing of desires, successes, and struggles in a nonjudgmental space. That sense of feeling supported and less alone in our experience of being human can help us open our minds not just to the luminosity of the moon but to unexpected answers to whatever we come seeking.

So what does it say about us, as a society, that moon circles are trending on social media? After living through a global pandemic, we experienced feelings of being disconnected from ourselves and each other that prompted a greater need for connection with others and with nature. That, in part, may explain our return to a timeless ritual dedicated to gathering with others, grounding in nature, and sharing our intentions.

鈥淢oon circles are a place to give and receive support, while providing self-care and letting go of what is no longer serving you,鈥� says, certified yoga instructor, meditation and. 鈥淧articipants find that they can offer self-care to the tender parts of themselves that want to be seen and heard.鈥� Bell finds that working on this in community, as opposed to alone, facilitates the process.

What Exactly Is a Moon Circle?

In ancient times, moon circles were held for various reasons. For example, in Indigenous cultures, women would build circles using rocks to physically. The ritual of building a moon circle was their way of honoring this milestone.

Contemporary moon circles look a little different. They can be 20 people journaling by candlelight indoors or four people meditating at a firepit outside. The gatherings can be structured or informal, somber or celebratory. They can even incorporate other practices and rituals, including yoga and tarot card readings, to help attendees gain a sense of self-awareness and togetherness.

鈥淭he four main parts of my moon circles are movement, meditation, journaling, and ritual,鈥� says Bell. 鈥淲e incorporate a quick yoga flow to ground you and prepare for a journey into self-discovery through imagining, reflecting, and journaling prompts.鈥�

Moon circles can provide a grounding force at a time when we feel isolated, overwhelmed, even at the mercy of forces larger than ourselves. 鈥淲hen people get together and create intentions, the energy is naturally amplified,鈥� says, clarity consultant and astrologer. Think of moon circles as being akin to hanging out with a group of friends who you find to be uplifting and, when needed, help keep you accountable.

A possible benefit of having people around you is being able to experience and express your feelings in a safe space and feel less alone, DeGolia says. You can reflect on your emotions silently, journal about them, and, if you feel comfortable, bring them to the larger group. 鈥淭he connection between people at a moon circle is paramount in helping you feel seen and validated.鈥�

There isn鈥檛 a prescribed sequence of actions for a moon circle. Instead, what unfolds depends on the phase of the moon and the person leading the circle.

When Do Moon Circles Happen?

Just as the moon鈥檚 gravitational pull affects our, so, too, does it influence our thoughts and feelings. Moon circles traditionally take place when lunar energy is at its most intense, namely during new moons and full moons.

feel like a clean slate. The darkness of the new moon, which blends into the night and is hidden from sight, encourages deep reflection, a commitment to making change, and setting intentions around what we want to happen. It is often referred to as a time to plant seeds for what you want to emerge with time. It has been regarded for millennia as a chance for new beginnings.

In contrast, the casts light鈥攍iterally as well as metaphorically鈥攐n where you need to focus. It illuminates and reveals those things in your life that might otherwise go unexamined. For example, during a full moon, you might spend time about reasons you鈥檙e grateful.

Moon circles that draw on full moon energy help us connect with what we desire for our future, says DeGolia. The full moon brings to light places of progress as well as areas where you might need to be more consistent to achieve your goals. For example, simply wishing for more money is futile without taking concrete steps to change your financial situation.

The phases of the moon can bring to surface powerful emotions and provide an occasion to check in with our emotions. They can allow us to work through fears and gain clarity on what we want our future to look like. Gathering in the presence of others can help us process these emotions in what has long been considered a sacred space.

What You Can Expect from a Moon Circle

, a consulting astrologer in Los Angeles, sets aside 90 minutes for leading moon circles on each new moon. She begins with a lesson on the influence of the new moon in the current zodiac sign and shares tips for setting intentions around that theme.

鈥淚n April, for example, an action-oriented might encourage you to set goals that require strength and courage,鈥� says Atlas. For example, this might relate to an area of your life in which you feel stuck. It could be that you鈥檙e unhappy with work and are contemplating a career change. But before quitting your job or diving headlong into a grad school application, you might want to reflect on your other options, including how you show up to your current situation.

Next, she transitions into a related meditation and offers insights on participants鈥� birth charts. To facilitate reflection, she provides journal prompts for setting intentions and then opens the space for sharing.

鈥淎 moon circle is an intentional gathering,鈥� says Atlas. 鈥淲hen you put your goals out into the world, there鈥檚 beauty,鈥� she says, explaining that the community aspect of moon circles allows us to support others鈥� goal setting and feel a sense of accountability about our own

Despite what many popular memes suggest, the goals you set at the new moon won鈥檛 necessarily manifest in the two weeks leading up to the next full moon. 鈥淚t鈥檚 better to set goals that will come together at the full moon six months later when it鈥檚 in the same sign as the new moon,鈥� she says.

But there are effects immediately after a moon circle. 鈥淚t can be a way to connect with others,鈥� says Atlas. 鈥淏esides making new friends, participants can expect to feel a deeper sense of self-love, clarity, and awareness after each event.鈥�

DeGolia encourages bringing a sense of curiosity to a moon circle. That, in turn, enhances your awareness and creates a stronger connection to yourself, your intuition, and your needs as well as to those around you. There鈥檚 strength in the experience of feeling seen, heard, and understood. And your presence inspires others to have a similar experience.

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It鈥檚 one of those days. The customer standing in front of you at the coffee shop can鈥檛 seem to make up their mind, causing you to be late to work. And, in the rush to get out the door, you spill that hard-won latte. Then, as you head into the office, your supervisor ambushes you with a request to look over the report you鈥檝e revised three times. It鈥檚 only 9 A.M., and it already feels like everyone is testing your patience. You鈥檙e frustrated, irritated, exhausted, and perhaps, even angry.

There鈥檚 no avoiding it: anger is one of our core emotions. However, it requires a thoughtful and intentional response. When we don鈥檛 have safe ways to express our frustration, we can engage in destructive behaviors like yelling, swearing, or maybe even throwing things. (Clearly, not ideal.) Fortunately, there are ways to deal with these emotions that draw on activities you鈥檙e already doing. Insert the 鈥渞age run.鈥�

What Exactly Is a Rage Run?

It functions as it sounds: a high-intensity run designed to release . You can run a few miles until you feel less angry or simply go faster than your usual speed for 10 to 15 minutes. For example, if your usual jogging pace hovers around 9:00, you may consider increasing your speed for a few minutes (or the entire run) to an 8:30 or 8:00 pace.

Hanging onto a quick pace can be, well, challenging. But instead of screaming expletives in your head, try repeating some affirming mantras instead. You may even find that the words make those strides feel a little bit easier.

It should come as no surprise that research suggests that can help you manage anger more effectively, as opposed to engaging in physical or verbal aggression. But is heading out on a rage run always a good idea? We spoke to experts about the benefits鈥攁nd pitfalls鈥攐f this type of exercise.

The Benefits of a Rage Run

Intense emotions like anger activate your nervous system. As you go into a fight-or-flight response, your body releases biochemicals including adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine which can make you feel more energized and alert, says Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed professional counselor and professor of psychology at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, Arizona. 鈥淕oing on a run (i.e., flight), which your body is already prepared for in a moment of anger, is a healthy way to release these biochemicals.鈥�

1. Channels Your Anger in a Healthy Way

Whether it鈥檚 due to the glass you just dropped on the floor or the fight you picked with your partner, when you鈥檙e really angry, your thoughts move a million miles a minute. In response, you may berate yourself鈥攐r want to yell at those around you. We鈥檝e all been there.

But rather than lashing out at someone or blaming yourself, try temporarily distancing yourself emotionally鈥攁nd potentially physically鈥攆rom what鈥檚 causing you distress. Going on a rage run can help shift the focus to your physical body rather than your emotional state, enabling you to slow down those whirling thoughts, says , a psychotherapist. 鈥淥nce you feel grounded, you can re-engage with the problem more flexibly.鈥�

2. Lifts Your Mood

A good run may also bring you some much-needed joy. 鈥淩unning can help you feel calm and clear your mind,鈥� Fedrick says. Whether it鈥檚 a light jog or a rage run, the production of endorphins (aka the 鈥渞unner鈥檚 high鈥�) , reducing feelings of anger or resentment.

What to Do After a Rage Run

Recovery is key, even when it comes to a rage run. Here’s what you should do when you’re coming down from the high of a angry sweat session.

1. Slow Your Heart Rate with Meditation or Breathwork

When you鈥檙e feeling angry, your breath quickens and your heart rate increases. Soothing practices, like breathwork or meditation, help slow down those inhales and exhales鈥攁nd allow you to feel a sense of safety by counteracting the fight-or-flight response, Fedrick says.

2. Splash Your Face with Cold Water

You can also elect to splash some cold water on your face post-run, cooling yourself off physically and emotionally. Like deep breathing, cold-water immersion forces you to be more aware of and intentional in your efforts to slow your breathing and allow your body to regulate itself, she says.

By ending your rage run with these types of calming practices, you can feel more control over your emotions and reduce the chance of anger harming your relationships, she says.

When You Shouldn’t Go for a Rage Run

Like any habit we rely on to soothe ourselves, a rage run isn鈥檛 a magic bullet鈥攁nd it may not always be the most effective strategy for dealing with your emotions. A run, after all, is only a short-term solution. For the long term, communication is key. If you don’t find that cathartic relief you鈥檙e craving after a few miles, it might be time to ditch the sneakers and call up a friend or a therapist.

鈥淯nfortunately, anger can make it difficult to express what you really need, and to be assertive, but not aggressive, in your requests,鈥� , a licensed psychologist, says. Therapy can help you process what鈥檚 behind your anger response and help you learn effective communication skills.

The truth is, feelings require work. Unfortunately, your emotions won鈥檛 change and resolve on their own, Wilson says. Instead, they must be processed or released. Angry outbursts are more likely to happen when you try to suppress your emotions. So, instead of letting those emotions bottle up until you just have to explode, opt instead to put on your headphones and hit the pavement, or call up a friend and rant for a bit鈥攐r both. Either way, it鈥檚 time to blow off some steam.

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