A Magical Realm of Crabs and Chickens
When President Biden needs a break from Putin and Mitch McConnell, he vacations on the Delmarva Peninsula, a blend of mid-Atlantic beauty, quirky accents, and tasty treasures from soil and sea. I grew up in the heart of it. Hear my song to this glorious land.
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Long before I found my place in the West, I grew up in , a town so perfectly boring and flat that a highway overpass near Bubba鈥檚 Breakaway offered the airiest views around. (Bubba鈥檚, now sadly gone, served excellent tacos.) Salisbury had maybe 17,000 people when I lived there in the 1980s; it sat at the junction of U.S. Route 13 and U.S. Route 50, about two and a half hours southeast of Washington, D.C., on Maryland鈥檚 Eastern Shore.
Salisbury was and still is a largely rural place, ringed by fields and poultry farms that feed a processing plant run by the town’s most famous celebrity: the late , the 鈥渢ough man, tender chicken鈥 king. His downtown operation, a hulking leaden-blue building with giant fans, could be so exquisitely stinky that we kids would hold our breath and pray that the stoplight stayed green whenever we had to pass it.
How to Eat Delmarvelously
Here are a few favorite dishes from longtime Delmarva familiesTo us, being at the junction of these highways made Salisbury something like the fluttering heart of Delmarva, the tri-state peninsula where 鈥渟lower, lower鈥 southern Delaware and the eastern portions of Maryland and Virginia bunch together in a critter-shaped landmass that divides the Chesapeake Bay from the Atlantic Ocean and its barrier islands, with the skinny Virginia part forming the tail. To most outsiders, Delmarva was little more than a place you suffered through on your way to the beach in Ocean City, dismissed by most as a 170-by-70-mile swamp of speed traps and Shore Stops听补苍诲 very old hamlets with names like Wetipquin, Pocomoke, and Onancock.
Compared with those settlements, Salisbury was cosmopolitan. We had a hospital, a small college, and a mall with an Orange Julius鈥攍ater there was a second, newer mall that even had a Chick-fil-A鈥攂ut outside of roller skating at Skateland or pounding ill-gotten Boone鈥檚 Farm in the woods off Fooks Road, there wasn鈥檛 much for guys like me to see or do. We joked that a sign at the western city limits should read, 鈥淲elcome to Salisbury! Only 30 minutes from the beach!鈥
For most of the 20 years I lived on Delmarva鈥攆irst in the Del, then the Va, and lastly the Mar鈥攎y life revolved around those highways. On 13, as we鈥檇 say in the accent that Delmarvans often pick up, we would drive 鈥渄own the rewd鈥 to Cape Charles, Virginia, which was too small to offer any fast food at all. Or we鈥檇 go 鈥渦p the rewd鈥 to Laurel, Delaware, home to the聽huge, tax-free Bargain Bill flea market, where people sold awesome pizza and muscle shirts. On 50, you could go 鈥渁cross the bay鈥 to Baltimore to watch Eddie Murray and the Orioles, or east to the beach, which could easily become 鈥渄own to the beach鈥 once you were actually there. As in: 鈥淗e ain鈥檛 home t鈥檇ay. He鈥檚 down to the beach.鈥
Christine Mallinson, a linguist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County who studies the way Marylanders speak, says the origins of these sounds and phrases have to do with Delmarva鈥檚 English settlers, its historic isolation and identity, and the fact that Maryland sits just south of the , which led to a blend of both northern and southern dialects. This is not the white, working-class Baltimore accent sometimes called Bawlmerese. Never, ever鈥攁nd I mean ever鈥攚ould a beach-bound Delmarvan say, 鈥淟et鈥檚 go downy ocean,鈥 as a 鈥淏altimoron鈥 famously would.
Delmarva is a presidential retreat now, what with Joe Biden having long owned a summer home there: a six-bed, 5.5-bath Cape Cod with a two-story deck and an elevator. This breezy retreat sits outside , Delaware, a small resort town just 25 miles from where I was born. In Rehoboth, an upscale place that鈥檚 popular with the region鈥檚 gay community, the president can ride his bike along near Cape Henlopen State Park, or he can walk the boardwalk to buy taffy鈥攐r perhaps a tiny hermit crab skittering around inside a little wire cage.
Does Biden鈥檚 presence mean Delmarva is about to get a huge boost in cachet, like Kennebunkport, Maine? I don鈥檛 think so. For one thing, despite the generally warm welcome Biden receives in Rehoboth鈥攁 blue spot in a very red part of the East Coast鈥攏o one will mistake him for a true Delmarvan. He鈥檚 spent too many years wheeling and dealing in Washington, or in Wilmington, Delaware, which is north of the Chesapeake & Delaware聽Canal, the de facto northern boundary between Delmarva and the Rest of the Planet. Can he explain what you do with 鈥渢he specials鈥 when picking a crab? (You eat them.) Does he know the plural of bunk, a word we use for friend? (It鈥檚 bunkies.) Has he ever tasted Delmarva鈥檚 most lovingly stewed spirit animal, the ? (No. But, well鈥 neither have I.)
Even so, I鈥檇 also bet that 46 knows, as all Delmarvans of a certain age do, how to recite the Bargain Bill flea-market slogan from local TV ads in the 1980s. In fact, I demand that someone in the White House press corps test him on this.
Fox News correspondent: 鈥淢r. President, where would you go if it鈥檚 bargains you be seekin鈥?鈥
Biden: 鈥淚鈥檇 visit my daddy鈥檚 flea market, this weeken鈥.鈥