When I first started traveling over ten years ago, I went alone. Not because it was trendy or to 鈥渇ind myself,鈥� but rather because I just didn鈥檛 have anyone else to come with me.
Nowadays you only have to scroll through Instagram for a minute before you鈥檙e inundated with perfectly posed selfies in the perfect location at the perfect time of day. These are clearly intended to send the message that solo travel is tidy, glitzy, and flawless. But those carefully crafted images aren鈥檛 real. From sleeping on airport floors with your聽arms wrapped around your bags to prevent them from 鈥渨andering off鈥� to being sick without anyone to turn to, traveling alone is messy, hard, and often not the least bit glamorous. And that鈥檚 something so-called influencers don鈥檛 like to talk about. It doesn鈥檛 sell.
But every solo adventurer has to deal with these harsh realities, and knowing what to expect is much better preparation than another perfectly styled Instagram post of a first-class flatbed airplane seat the size of a canoe.
Perhaps the worst part of traveling alone is getting sick. Someone should invent an Uber聽Eats for doctor and pharmacy visits abroad, because it doesn鈥檛 get much worse than dragging yourself out of bed with the stomach flu to ride a scooter in search of questionable meds from someone you can鈥檛 communicate with at a dubious Southeast Asian clinic. You only suffer through that once before you build up your own mini pharmacy to cover all manner of illnesses. Plus, nothing builds new friendships like sharing your stash with a hostel buddy in desperate need of Imodium.
Another major cause of solo-travel disasters is simply not having someone to bounce your hairbrained plans off of. We all know that good decisions in our heads sometimes have no basis in reality, and that can result in such type-two fun as winging it and assuming you can sleep in a tiny rural airport two hours outside Paris. Or wandering the outskirts of the city when said airport closes and you鈥檙e stuck with nothing but a big touristy backpack and a handful of drug dealers聽for company. The loneliness certainly kicks in then.
Something fundamental is stripped away when you only have yourself to rely on, and I鈥檝e found myself more able to connect with strangers.
While I鈥檓 a proud introvert, that loneliness can hurt. I know what you鈥檙e thinking: duh, Liz, of course solo travel gets lonesome. But I would argue that聽isn鈥檛 exactly true. I actually make friends and meet a lot more people traveling alone than I would otherwise. But you have to work for it, and just when I think I have this solo thing nailed down, I am slapped with another reminder of my aloneness, like when my bucket-list dream to dive with sharks required a two-guest minimum. And don鈥檛 even get me started on being like the Maldives. More than once I鈥檝e had to toss rose petals that were artfully arranged in a heart on the bed onto the floor. At least there鈥檚 usually a whole bottle of champagne to keep me company.
For me, the loneliness usually appears when I take myself out to dinner. Surrounded by groups and couples, it鈥檚 such a social setting that you often can鈥檛 help but feel like you stand out. To keep the isolation at bay, I usually bring a book, but I also smile and make eye contact with other聽friendly looking patrons. You might be surprised how often people will engage a solo diner in conversation from a nearby table. Another good option is dining at the bar. It鈥檚 a magnet for solo travelers, and at the very least, bartenders are professionally chatty.
That鈥檚 a good example of how loneliness on the road is often a choice. As soon as you put yourself out there鈥攋oining a pub crawl, signing up for a cooking class or a food tour, couch surfing, or staying in a shared Airbnb or hostel鈥攜ou immediately have the chance to connect with new people. Something fundamental is stripped away when you only have yourself to rely on, and I鈥檝e found myself more able to connect with strangers. You just have to be open to it, and being lonely is the best time to force yourself out of your comfort zone, despite how hard it may聽seem.
That is until you鈥檙e approached by creepy men asking you all kinds of personal questions. While there are a million ways to mitigate risk, you鈥檒l always have that cautionary voice in the back of your head warning you of danger when you find yourself alone in an uncomfortable situation. More than once I鈥檝e had to lie,聽saying that my partner is in the bathroom or walking right past my hotel when I was being 鈥渉elped home鈥� by someone I鈥檇 met so he wouldn鈥檛 know where I was staying. And when my gut gives me bad vibes about a person, I don鈥檛 think twice about walking away as fast as I can.
But at the end of the day, while traveling by yourself is full of ups and downs, the peaks are far higher than the valleys, and it鈥檚 an experience that will teach you more than you can imagine. Just聽make sure to pack extra Imodium in case shit hits the fan.聽