If Taxidermy Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right
Two documentaries, 'Big Fur' and 'Stuffed,' set out to show that this sticky-fingered branch of natural history is full of beauty and wonder. Do they succeed? Our reviewer, who knows a lot more about the subject than he ought to, says yes.
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When I was 13, holding a scalpel that I鈥檇 鈥渂orrowed鈥 from my dad鈥檚 old autopsy bag鈥攁 big step in my quest to learn the difficult art of taxidermy鈥攖here was one thing I never would have seen coming.
Wait. What? Be patient. We鈥檒l get to me and my weird hobby in a minute. For now, I鈥檒l just add that my late father was a respected pathologist who had no part in what happened and shouldn鈥檛 be blamed. Nor should my mom, who briefly deluded herself into thinking my interest in taxidermy possibly meant I wanted to be a surgeon.
As I was saying: I wouldn鈥檛 have predicted that The New York Times would someday think taxidermy is cool, but this very thing has happened in the 21st century. Granted, the聽Times doesn鈥檛 cover the subject like it鈥檚 a normal beat, but if you cruise its聽archives, you鈥檒l see that it comes up surprisingly often, usually in articles that try to convince you there鈥檚 a 鈥渢axidermy craze鈥 underway (fact check: there is never a taxidermy craze underway), or that it鈥檚 an art form popular among hipsters (there鈥檚 truth to this one, since taxidermy is inherently Goth), or that displaying stuffed animals in your Manhattan or Brooklyn apartment is a cool design choice (it is not).
For me, picking the best story in this genre came down to a pair of heavyweights. The first is a , a 鈥渟ocialite, celebrity journalist, and author鈥 who filled a big Midtown apartment with around 200 taxidermy specimens, including a bison head. 鈥淗e was the wooliest bully I had ever seen, so I called him Buffalo Bill,鈥 Speck says, trying way too hard.
But the win goes to a piece published in 2003 under the 丑别补诲濒颈苍别听鈥.鈥 It stars a hipster couple, Erik Sanko and Jessica Grindstaff, who live together in 鈥渁 small, exuberantly overstuffed apartment in TriBeCa.鈥 (Overstuffed! Get it?) Sanko was a well-known bassist who鈥檇 played for the rock group Skeleton Key and John Lurie鈥檚 jazz band, the Lounge Lizards. Grindstaff was an artist who liked to make dioramas and music boxes using old pieces of taxidermy. 鈥淥n a worktable in the living room, she had attached the flattened body of a mouse to the head of a small bird,鈥 the story tells us. 鈥溾楾hat鈥檚 wrong on so many levels,鈥 she said. 鈥楤ut it鈥檚 so right.鈥欌
No, Jessica, it鈥檚 wrong. On all the levels.
Occasionally, a writer uses a more conventional approach and simply says taxidermy is gross, which prompts a mixed reaction from me. On one hand, I have to agree: it can be kinda gross. But as a former teenage taxidermist, I feel defensive and protective.
That鈥檚 why I was excited by 听迟丑别听Times published in 2013, because it provided a useful rundown of what modern taxidermy is really like. A book reviewer had written that taxidermy workshops are creepy places filled with 鈥渄ust, fumes, stench, viscera and decay.鈥 She got clobbered by an avenging correspondent聽from Ontario, Canada,聽named K. Kilburn, who was married to a professional fish taxidermist. Kilburn, a no-nonsense sort, said her man ran a clean operation.
鈥淔ish taxidermy requires expertise with a great range of paints and finishes,鈥 she wrote. 鈥淐areful removal of all possible traces of flesh from the skin, which is then tanned and treated so there are no future infestations of insects鈥攁nd no decay. There is no dust鈥攄ust is the enemy of good taxidermy. Chemical fumes and any temporary odors are removed by powerful fans.鈥
This was a rousing defense of the art form that so many people love to hate. It almost made me want to put on rubber gloves and try it again.
Almost.